Roll Call
點名
The boy closed his eyes. He hated this moment. Knowing it was coming just made it worse.
男孩閉上眼睛。他討厭這一刻。知道這一刻就要來了只能讓情況更糟糕。
John, John Dillon? the teacher called out. The boy opened one eye a tiny bit. He saw a blond kid in the next row raise his hand and say "Here!" with a big smile. He had perfect teeth. All the girls turned to look at him. His smile got bigger.
“約翰，約翰·狄龍？”老師大聲叫道。男孩微微睜開一隻眼，看到旁邊一隊裡一個金髮男孩笑容滿面地舉起手喊：“到！”他的牙齒潔白而整齊。所有的女孩都轉過去看他。他笑得更燦爛了。
Jennifer, Jennifer Farnsworth? the teacher continued. The boy put both hands on his head as if he could hide if he just pushed down hard enough. A girl with long, flowing hair and a butterfly pin above her ear raised her hand. "It's Jen," she said. "Just Jen."
“珍妮弗，珍妮弗·法恩斯沃思？”老師接著叫道。男孩雙手搭在頭上，好像只要他用力往下壓就能找個地方躲起來似的。一個長髮垂順、耳翼上方彆著蝴蝶結的女生舉起手來。她說：“我叫珍，就叫我珍吧。”
The boy thought she was the prettiest girl he had ever seen. He noticed that John Dillon turned slightly in his seat and winked at her. Of course, he thought. How typical! The perfect boy and the perfect girl already found one another. Life was so unfair.
男孩覺得這是他見過的最漂亮的女孩。他看到約翰·狄龍在座位上微微側了側身，衝珍眨了眨眼。意料之中的事，他心裡想，太典型了——完美男孩和完美女孩一見傾心。生活真是太不公平了。
He folded his arms and rested his head on them, completely covering his head with his hands. The teacher hesitated. He knew that meant she had come to his place on the class attendance list. Finally, he heard what he had dreaded all morning. "Myron, Myron ..." There was a long pause. "Glebschnockerwatz?"
他把兩隻胳膊交疊在一起，將頭枕在上面，用兩隻手把頭完全遮了起來。老師猶豫了一下。他知道那意味著老師已經唸到班級出勤簿上他的名字了。他最終還是聽到了那讓他怕了整整一上午的聲音：“邁倫，邁倫——”老師頓了很長時間。“格雷布什諾科瓦茲？”
He clenched his teeth, waiting for the snickers to come, and then slightly raised his index finger . The teacher didn't see it. She looked down again at her class list and said in an even louder voice. "Myron H. Z. Glebschnockerwatz?" Oh, no! Have mercy! The boy sat bolt upright as if from an electric shock. But it was too late. "Myron Herman Zoltran Glebschnockerwatz?"
他緊咬牙齒，只等著竊笑聲起，然後輕輕豎起食指。老師沒看到是誰。她又低頭看了一眼花名冊，然後更大聲地叫道：“邁倫·H·Z·格雷布什諾科瓦茲？”哦，不要！發發善心吧！男孩像觸了電似的，噌地一下坐直了。但還是太晚了。“邁倫·赫爾曼·佐爾特蘭·格雷布什諾科瓦茲？”
This time the class all erupted in laughter. Myron's face turned beet red as he raised his hand. "Here," he said in a timid voice. "Hush !" the teacher scolded the class while giving him a sympathetic look. She returned to her class list. "Hank, Hank Henderson?"
這一次，全班爆笑起來。邁倫舉起手來，臉漲得通紅，羞怯地答了聲“到”。“安靜！”老師斥責全班同學，同時向他報以同情的一瞥。她繼續點名：“漢克，漢克·亨德森？”
Myron just wanted to disappear under his desk. When the class ended,he wondered why he didn't hear the cruel taunts of his fellow students. They were all crowding together and pushing toward the promised freedom of the hallway.
邁倫只想在桌子底下找個地縫鑽進去。下課後，他奇怪同學們為什麼沒刻薄地奚落他，原來他們蜂擁著衝向那期望中的自由之地—— 走廊。
John Dillon bumped him from behind, causing Myron to pitch forward right into the back of Jennifer Farnsworth. Jennifer whirled around clutching her books tightly to her chest. "You bumped me!" Myron was about to apologize when John Dillon stepped from behind him. "It was my fault," he said. "I accidentally knocked - hey, what's your name again?"
約翰·狄龍從後面撞了他一下，他身子前傾撞上了珍妮弗·法恩斯沃思的後背。珍妮弗猛地轉過身來，兩手緊握書本，擋在胸前說：“你撞到我了！”邁倫正要跟她道歉，約翰·狄龍從他身後走上前來。“是我的錯，”他說，“是我不小心撞到了——對了，你叫什麼名字來著？”
Oh sure, Myron thought. That old trick. Pretend to forget my name so that you can make fun of it by forcing me to say it out loud. Might as well get it over with . "Myron," he whispered. "My name's Myron Glebschnockerwatz."
好哇，邁倫想，又來這一套。假裝忘了我的名字，逼我大聲說出來，然後好趁機取笑我。不如早點了事。“邁倫，”他輕聲說：“我叫邁倫·格雷布什諾科瓦茲。”
To his surprise, John didn't even try to taunt or tease . Instead, he just gave him a friendly slap on the back. "Right, Myron. I won't forget." Jennifer smiled at him. "Sorry I blamed you, Myron."
出乎他意料的是，約翰並沒有奚落或者嘲弄他的想法，而只是友好地拍了一下他的後背。“好的，邁倫，我記住了。”珍妮弗也對他笑著說：“對不起，我錯怪你了，邁倫。”
Myron was so surprised he just stood there as the rest of the class filed out around him. He pushed his thick glasses higher on his nose.
邁倫驚訝得呆立在原地，其他同學從他身邊繞過去，魚貫而出。他把厚厚的眼鏡往鼻樑上方推了推。
It was then he saw the writing on the board. He had kept his head down and his glasses off in class. This was the first time he was seeing the teacher's name written in big purple letters:
直到這時，他才看到黑板上的板書。上課期間，他一直低著頭， 眼鏡也沒有戴。這是他第一次看到老師的名字，只見紫色的大字寫著：
Miss Bighewjnozbumfoot.
比格休諾茲布姆弗特(Bighewjnozbumfoot)小姐。
Myron smiled for the first time that morning. Maybe this school year wouldn't be so bad after all.
整整一個上午，邁倫第一次露出了笑容。畢竟，這個學年或許不至於太糟糕了。
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