音頻
中英對照文本
So sometimes I get angry,
所以有時候我很生氣，
and it took me many years to be able to say just those words.
我花了很多年才說出這些話。
In my work,
在我的工作中，
sometimes my body thrums, I'm so enraged.
有時候我的身體會狂跳，我很生氣。
But no matter how justified my anger has been,
但不管我的憤怒有多有道理，
throughout my life,
在我的一生中，
I've always been led to understand that my anger is an exaggeration,
我總是被引導去理解我的憤怒是誇張的，
a misrepresentation,
虛假陳述，
that it will make me rude and unlikable.
它會讓我變得粗魯和不討人喜歡。
Mainly as a girl, I learned, as a girl, that anger is an emotion
主要是作為一個女孩，我瞭解到，作為一個女孩，憤怒是一種情感
better left entirely unvoiced.
最好不要說話。
Think about my mother for a minute.
想想我媽媽。
When I was 15, I came home from school one day,
當我15歲的時候，有一天我從學校回家，
and she was standing on a long veranda outside of our kitchen,
她站在我們廚房外面的一條長長的走廊上，
holding a giant stack of plates.
手裡拿著一大堆盤子。
Imagine how dumbfounded I was when she started to throw them like Frisbees...
想象一下，當她開始像飛盤一樣扔球時，我是多麼的震驚。
(Laughter)
（笑聲）
into the hot, humid air.
又熱又潮溼的空氣裡。
When every single plate had shattered into thousands of pieces
當所有的盤子都粉碎成成千上萬的碎片
on the hill below,
在下面的山上，
she walked back in and she said to me, cheerfully, "How was your day?"
她走了進來，高興地對我說："你今天過得怎麼樣？"
(Laughter)
（笑聲）
Now you can see how a child would look at an incident like this
現在你可以看到一個孩子是如何看待這樣的事件的
and think that anger is silent, isolating, destructive, even frightening.
認為憤怒是無聲的，孤立的，破壞性的，甚至是可怕的。
Especially though when the person who's angry is a girl or a woman.
尤其是當生氣的人是女孩或女人的時候。
The question is why.
問題是為什麼。
Anger is a human emotion, neither good nor bad.
憤怒是一種人類的情感，既不是好的也不是壞的。
It is actually a signal emotion.
它實際上是一種信號情感。
It warns us of indignity, threat, insult and harm.
它警告我們侮辱、威脅、侮辱和傷害。
And yet, in culture after culture, anger is reserved as the moral property
然而，在一個又一個文化中，憤怒被保留為道德財產
of boys and men.
關於男孩和男人的。
Now, to be sure, there are differences.
現在，可以肯定的是，存在著差異。
So in the United States, for example,
例如，在美國，
an angry black man is viewed as a criminal,
一個憤怒的黑人被認為是罪犯，
but an angry white man has civic virtue.
但是一個憤怒的白人有公民的美德。
Regardless of where we are, however, the emotion is gendered.
然而，無論我們身在何處，情感都是性別的。
And so we teach children to disdain anger in girls and women,
所以我們教孩子們蔑視女孩和女人的憤怒，
and we grow up to be adults that penalize it.
我們長大後就成了懲罰它的成年人。
So what if we didn't do that?
如果我們沒那麼做呢？
What if we didn't sever anger from femininity?
如果我們不消除對女性的憤怒呢？
Because severing anger from femininity means we sever girls and women
因為切斷對女性的憤怒意味著我們切斷女孩和女人
from the emotion that best protects us from injustice.
從最能保護我們不受不公正待遇的情感中解脫出來。
What if instead we thought about developing emotional competence
如果我們考慮發展情感能力
for boys and girls?
為了男孩和女孩？
The fact is we still remarkably socialize children
但事實是我們還是把孩子們社會化了
in very binary and oppositional ways.
以非常二元和對立的方式。
Boys are held to absurd, rigid norms of masculinity --
男孩子受到荒謬的、僵化的陽剛之氣規範的束縛-
told to renounce the feminine emotionality of sadness or fear
他被告知要放棄悲傷或恐懼的女性情感
and to embrace aggression and anger as markers of real manhood.
把侵略和憤怒作為真正男子漢氣概的標誌。
On the other hand, girls learn to be deferential,
另一方面，女孩學會了尊重別人，
and anger is incompatible with deference.
憤怒和順從是不相容的。
In the same way that we learned to cross our legs and tame our hair,
就像我們學會了交叉雙腿和馴服頭髮一樣，
we learned to bite our tongues and swallow our pride.
我們學會了咬緊牙關，嚥下我們的驕傲。
What happens too often is that for all of us,
經常發生的事情是，對我們所有人來說，
indignity becomes imminent in our notions of femininity.
在我們的女性觀念中，侮辱變得迫在眉睫。
There's a long personal and political tale to that bifurcation.
關於這個分歧有一個很長的個人和政治故事。
In anger, we go from being spoiled princesses and hormonal teens,
在憤怒中，我們不再是被寵壞的公主和荷爾蒙過剩的青少年，
to high maintenance women and shrill, ugly nags.
高保養的女人和尖叫，醜陋的嘮叨。
We have flavors, though; pick your flavor.
不過，我們有口味； 嚐嚐你的味道。
Are you a spicy hot Latina when you're mad?
你瘋了的時候是個辣辣的拉丁人嗎？
Or a sad Asian girl? An angry black woman? Or a crazy white one?
或者一個悲傷的亞洲女孩？ 一個憤怒的黑人女人？ 或者是一個瘋狂的白人？
You can pick.
你挑吧。
But in fact, the effect is that when we say what's important to us,
但事實上，結果是當我們說什麼對我們來說很重要的時候，
which is what anger is conveying,
這就是憤怒所傳達的信息，
people are more likely to get angry at us for being angry.
人們更容易因為我們生氣而生我們的氣。
Whether we're at home or in school or at work or in a political arena,
不管是在家裡，在學校，在工作，還是在政治舞臺上，
anger confirms masculinity, and it confounds femininity.
憤怒證實了男子氣概，也混淆了女性氣質。
So men are rewarded for displaying it,
所以男人們會因為展示它而得到獎勵，
and women are penalized for doing the same.
女人也會因為做同樣的事而受到懲罰。
This puts us at an enormous disadvantage,
這使我們處於極大的劣勢，
particularly when we have to defend ourselves and our own interests.
尤其是當我們必須保護自己和自己的利益的時候。
If we're faced with a threatening street harasser, predatory employer,
如果我們面對威脅的街頭騷擾者，掠奪者僱主，
a sexist, racist classmate,
有性別歧視，種族歧視的同學，
our brains are screaming, "Are you kidding me?"
我們的大腦在尖叫，"你在開玩笑嗎？"
And our mouths say, "I'm sorry, what?"
我們的嘴說，"對不起，什麼？"
(Laughter)
（笑聲）
Right?
對吧？
And it's conflicting because the anger gets all tangled up
它是矛盾的，因為憤怒被糾纏在一起
with the anxiety and the fear and the risk and retaliation.
帶著焦慮、恐懼、風險和報復。
If you ask women what they fear the most in response to their anger,
如果你問女人最害怕的是什麼來回應她們的憤怒，
they don't say violence.
他們沒說暴力。
They say mockery.
他們說是嘲笑。
Think about what that means.
想想這意味著什麼。
If you have multiple marginalized identities, it's not just mockery.
如果你有多個被邊緣化的身份，這不僅僅是嘲笑。
If you defend yourself, if you put a stake in the ground,
如果你為自己辯護，如果你把賭注壓在地上，
there can be dire consequences.
可能會有可怕的後果。
Now we reproduce these patterns not in big, bold and blunt ways,
現在我們不以大的、大膽的和直率的方式複製這些模式，
but in the everyday banality of life.
但在日常生活中.
When my daughter was in preschool, every single morning
我女兒上幼兒園的時候，每天早上
she built an elaborate castle -- ribbons and blocks --
她建造了一座精緻的城堡--緞帶和街區--
and every single morning the same boy knocked it down gleefully.
每天早晨，同一個男孩都興高采烈地把它打倒在地。
His parents were there, but they never intervened before the fact.
他的父母在那裡，但他們從來沒有干預之前的事實。
They were happy to provide platitudes afterwards:
之後，他們很高興地講出了一些陳詞濫調：
"Boys will be boys."
"男孩就是男孩。"
"It's so tempting, he just couldn't help himself."
"太誘人了，他就是忍不住。"
I did what many girls and women learn to do.
我做了很多女孩和女人學做的事。
I preemptively kept the peace,
我先發制人地維持了和平，
and I taught my daughter to do the same thing.
我教我女兒做同樣的事。
She used her words.
她用了她的話。
She tried to gently body block him.
她試著輕輕地用身體擋住他。
She moved where she was building in the classroom, to no effect.
她搬到了她正在教室裡建的地方，但沒有效果。
So I and the other adults mutually constructed a particular male entitlement.
所以我和其他成年人共同建立了一種特殊的男性權利。
He could run rampant and control the environment,
他可以橫衝直撞控制環境，
and she kept her feelings to herself and worked around his needs.
她把自己的感情藏在心裡，努力滿足他的需要。
We failed both of them by not giving her anger the uptake
我們都失敗了，因為我們沒有讓她生氣
and resolution that it deserved.
以及它應得的決心。
Now that's a microcosm of a much bigger problem.
這是一個更大問題的縮影。
Because culturally, worldwide,
因為在文化上，在世界範圍內，
we preference the performance of masculinity --
我們更喜歡男性化的表演--
and the power and privilege that come with that performance --
以及表演帶來的力量和特權-
over the rights and needs and words of children and women.
關於兒童和婦女的權利、需要和言論。
So it will come as absolutely no surprise, probably, to the people in this room
所以對這個房間裡的人來說，這一點都不奇怪
that women report being angrier in more sustained ways and with more intensity
女人會以更持久的方式和更強烈的方式來表達她們的憤怒
than men do.
比男人做的還多。
Some of that comes from the fact that we're socialized to ruminate,
其中一些來自於我們被社會化到沉思的事實，
to keep it to ourselves and mull it over.
把它留給我們自己好好想想。
But we also have to find socially palatable ways
但我們也必須找到社會上可以接受的方法
to express the intensity of emotion that we have
為了表達我們強烈的情感
and the awareness that it brings of our precarity.
以及它給我們帶來的早熟感。
So we do several things.
所以我們做了幾件事情。
If men knew how often women were filled with white hot rage when we cried,
如果男人知道我們哭的時候女人有多少次充滿了白熱化的憤怒，
they would be staggered.
他們會被絆倒的。
(Laughter)
（笑聲）
We use minimizing language.
我們用最小化語言。
"We're frustrated. No, really, it's OK."
"我們很沮喪。不，真的，沒關係。"
(Laughter)
（笑聲）
We self-objectify and lose the ability
我們自我對象化，失去了能力
to even recognize the physiological changes that indicate anger.
甚至能識別出表示憤怒的生理變化。
Mainly, though, we get sick.
不過，主要是我們生病了。
Anger has now been implicated in a whole array of illnesses
憤怒現在已經涉及到一系列的疾病
that are casually dismissed as "women's illnesses."
他們被隨意地斥為"婦女的疾病"。
Higher rates of chronic pain, autoimmune disorders, disordered eating,
更高的慢性疼痛，自身免疫性疾病，飲食紊亂，
mental distress, anxiety, self harm, depression.
精神痛苦，焦慮，自我傷害，抑鬱。
Anger affects our immune systems, our cardiovascular systems.
憤怒影響我們的免疫系統，心血管系統。
Some studies even indicate that it affects mortality rates,
一些研究甚至表明它會影響死亡率，
particularly in black women with cancer.
尤其是那些身患癌症的黑人女性。
I am sick and tired of the women I know being sick and tired.
我對我認識的那些又病又累的女人感到厭倦。
Our anger brings great discomfort,
我們的憤怒會帶來極大的不適，
and the conflict comes because it's our role to bring comfort.
而衝突的發生是因為我們的角色是帶來安慰。
There is anger that's acceptable.
憤怒是可以接受的。
We can be angry when we stay in our lanes and buttress the status quo.
當我們呆在自己的車道上鞏固現狀時，我們可能會生氣。
As mothers or teachers,
作為母親或教師，
we can be mad, but we can't be angry about the tremendous costs of nurturing.
我們可能會生氣，但我們不能因為養育孩子的巨大代價而生氣。
We can be angry at our mothers.
我們可以生媽媽的氣。
Let's say, as teenagers -- patriarchal rules and regulations --
比如說，作為青少年--家長式的規章制度--
we don't blame systems, we blame them.
我們不責怪系統，我們責怪他們。
We can be angry at other women, because who doesn't love a good catfight?
我們可以生其他女人的氣，因為誰不喜歡打架？
And we can be angry at men with lower status in an expressive hierarchy
我們可以對那些在表達等級中地位較低的人感到憤怒
that supports racism or xenophobia.
支持種族主義或仇外心理。
But we have an enormous power in this.
但我們有巨大的力量。
Because feelings are the purview of our authority,
因為感情是我們權力的範圍，
and people are uncomfortable with our anger.
人們對我們的憤怒感到不舒服。
We should be making people comfortable with the discomfort they feel
我們應該讓人們對他們所感受到的不舒服感到舒服
when women say no, unapologetically.
當女人說不的時候，不要道歉。
We can take emotions and think in terms of competence and not gender.
我們可以感情用事，用能力而不是性別來思考。
People who are able to process their anger and make meaning from it
有能力處理他們的憤怒並從中獲得意義的人
are more creative, more optimistic,
更有創造力，更樂觀，
they have more intimacy,
他們更親密，
they're better problem solvers,
他們是更好的解決問題的人，
they have greater political efficacy.
他們的政治效率更高。
Now I am a woman writing about women and feelings,
現在我是一個寫女人和感情的女人，
so very few men with power
所以很少有有有權力的人
are going to take what I'm saying seriously, as a matter of politics.
會認真對待我所說的，作為一個政治問題。
We think of politics and anger in terms of the contempt and disdain and fury
我們把政治和憤怒看成是輕蔑、輕蔑和憤怒
that are feeding a rise of macho-fascism in the world.
這助長了世界上機器法西斯主義的興起。
But if it's that poison, it's also the antidote.
但如果是毒藥，那也是解藥。
We have an anger of hope, and we see it every single day
我們有一種希望的憤怒，我們每天都能看到它
in the resistant anger of women and marginalized people.
在女性和邊緣人群的反抗憤怒中。
It's related to compassion and empathy and love,
它與同情、同情和愛有關，
and we should recognize that anger as well.
我們也應該意識到這種憤怒。
The issue is that societies that don't respect women's anger don't respect women.
問題是不尊重女性憤怒的社會不尊重女性。
The real danger of our anger isn't that it will break bonds or plates.
我們憤怒的真正危險不是它會破壞債券或盤子。
It's that it exactly shows how seriously we take ourselves,
它恰恰顯示了我們對自己的重視程度，
and we expect other people to take us seriously as well.
我們希望其他人也能認真對待我們。
When that happens, chances are very good
當那發生的時候，機會是很好的
that women will be able to smile when they want to.
女人想笑的時候就能笑。
(Applause)
（掌聲）
Thank you.
謝謝你。
(Applause) (Cheers)
（掌聲）（乾杯）
閱讀更多 一起看演講 的文章
