今日話題
中國的古話說”遠親不如近鄰”，但好像並不是所有的鄰居都那麼歲月靜好啊！
鄰里關係是一種很奇妙的關係。
有時候鄰居之間的情誼會很暖心：
有時候又很脆弱，一言不和就動手：
而且，有些陳年舊帳怎麼都算不清：
其實，住在一個社區裡，摩擦是避免不了的。
那麼，整天抬頭不見低頭見的，面對面的衝突總是會比較尷尬，於是有些人會採取非面對面對抗這種消極攻擊的方式來表達自己的憤怒和抗議。
國外網站Boredpanda就收集了一些網友和鄰居鬥智鬥勇的經歷。
來圍觀一下——
#1 Please Stop, He Needs To Quit
能不能別再把菸屁股扔地上了！
我家貓每天晚上偷偷跑出來揀菸屁股抽，我們現在正幫它戒菸著呢！
@ kyrilavera :
ohhh. thats why cats go out at night huh?
這就是為啥貓咪們老是晚上出去遊蕩吧？
@glowworm:
So that's why his meows sound so hoarse...
所以他叫起來嗓子那麼啞啊…
@ stellermatt:
but i bet he looks so cool...
但是我估計，他抽菸的的樣子應該挺酷的......
看這照片裡喵一臉不爽的表情，就知道戒菸的過程不那麼歡快啊！
貓內心OS：喵生的大起大落實在是來的太刺激了
#2 My Neighbors Complained That It’s Too Cold For My Dog To Be Outside All Day During The Winter. I Sent Them This
我鄰居跟我抱怨說: 你們家狗天天待在外面也太冷了吧，我發了這張照片給他
@Kimberlie Cash :
I had the same type of complaint.. I just put a rain coat on my dog...
我也這樣被說過。我就給我家狗穿個雨衣……
@H4unt3dF0r3sts
IT'S A HUSKY FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. They're built for the snow!
這可是哈士奇啊！ 笑死人了。 二哈就是為雪而生的啊！
@Kathy Zelms
I had cops show up and try to take me to court over leaving my chow out. She slept in snow banks, had a doggie door to the garage with a bed and food and water. She slept indoors at night. Fffing nosy neighbors. All went fine after a visit from animal cruelty.
我把我家鬆獅放外面，之前就有警察來要起訴我。我在車庫裡還給她留了狗洞，有床有水有吃的，但她就是喜歡睡雪堆裡啊，只有晚上才回來睡。鄰居真是愛管閒事。反虐待動物協會的人來看了一趟之後就啥事兒都沒有了。
在指出別人的錯誤之前是不是得先翻翻書呀！
#3 An Open Letter To My Garbage Neighbors
致鄰居的一封公開信：
親愛的開了一整晚趴體的鄰居：
... ... Kristine，我知道你馬上要去加拿大航空上班了，特興奮，但是你能不能小點聲啊，老子要睡覺啊！
還有Jen發現Chad出軌了是
挺可憐的，但是誰要凌晨4點聽你瞎XX這些啊！我家貓都被你們吵醒了！我還得給他解釋為啥Tracy因為《吉爾莫女孩》第八季結尾那麼爛導致她在我們公寓走廊裡大喊大叫！
… …
從這兒搬出去吧！
懶得問候！！！
已經被你們氣到半死的鄰居
隔壁一晚上肆無忌憚的轟趴之後，對方朋友所有的八卦都聽得一清二楚了。隔著屏幕都感受得到樓主的憤怒啊！
@Sandie Hupe
Hahaha this one should be at top.
哈哈哈哈哈哈這個應該置頂啊
@piggy panda
Luke-warm regards love it.
懶得問候滿分
@jenna
How I wished I could publish such a letter about my neighbours :). They have no idea how much intimate information I have on them because of their very irritating and very loud conversations in their garden. I don't want to know their private sh*t! ……
多希望我也能貼這麼個條子給鄰居看啊！他們在花園裡說話特別大聲，要多煩人有多煩人，自己都不知道我聽到了他們多少隱私。況且還根本不想知道啊！
#4 Note From Angry Neighbor (Above) And Appropriate Army Vet Response (Below)
這個鄰居看到別人用了殘疾車位，氣不過留了這麼張條（上圖）
鄰居：老哥，能不能別再把車停在殘疾車位了？你一沒拄拐，二看起來沒有殘疾。我已經拍了你的車牌號發給物業去處理了！
結果收到了老兵有理有據的回覆 （下圖），簡單翻譯如下：
老兵：首先，根據法律，在德克薩斯州，如果車輛有傷殘老兵牌照，就不需要放置殘疾證……你要是願意多花30秒從兜裡掏出電腦查一查就知道了。
你還拍了我的車牌，記得睜大眼睛看看上面還寫了啥：DISABLED VETERAN U.S. ARMED FORCES（美國武裝部隊傷殘老兵）。
不過沒關係，你可能就是被憤怒衝昏頭了，覺得自己像個維護社會公正的英雄。
…
其次，可能在你眼裡我看起來一點殘疾沒有，但是我敢保證，我的下肢因為打仗遭受的痛苦可能比你一生中的所有承受的痛苦都多。
最後，你的紙條原件我留下了，時刻提醒自己不要成為你這樣的人 。
祝好
看起來不像是殘疾的殘疾人
@Beeps
This angers me so much, as it happens sooooo often. I have several disabled friends who can all tell stories about something similar happening to them. One of them uses a wheelchair, but also drives a sports car and regularly has people stop, ready to harangue him while he parks his car, only to scamper off embarrassed when he gets his chair out.
太生氣了！而且這種事情還經常發生。我身邊有幾位殘疾朋友也遭遇過類似的事情。其中一位朋友平時是用輪椅的，但他也會開車，停車的時候總會有人來找他“講道理”，結果看他把輪椅推出來的時候就很尷尬地走了
@Ashley Lopez
JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE DOESN'T LOOK DISABLED DOESN'T MEAN THEIR NOT UGH I HATE PEOPLE LIKE THIS!
人家看起來不像殘疾不代表人家就不是！好討厭這種人
@Efia
His handwriting looks like he's still in primary school
這字兒寫的感覺小學都還沒畢業
恩，這個回覆可以說是
很有教養了，無論如何，都要尊重他人。#5 Left My Printer Without A Passcode. My Neighbors Sent Me A Message
打印機沒有加密，我們鄰居給我留著這麼張條：
你如果能不要在凌晨兩點的時候那麼大聲XXOO，我會很開心的。
這可以說是很尷尬了......
@stellermatt
would 3am work better for you?
那凌晨三點可以嗎？
@TK
Every night at 2 AM ?
每天凌晨兩點都XXOO？？？？
@Signe Manat Hansen
God, that's a lot of color.
我天，這得費多少彩墨粉啊！
@Eyad Babikir
I did similar thing when our neighbors moved into the flat next to us just before xmas! I sent them a xmas card welcoming them and wishing them a merry xmas, with a separate sticky note asking them to tone down the sex noises at 3am, as these flats' walls are very thin.
聖誕節之前，我家隔壁搬來了新鄰居，也是這樣。然後我就送了他們一張聖誕節卡片，再附上一張紙條，提醒他們凌晨三點XXOO的時候小點聲，而且這棟樓的牆很薄的。
They did exactly the same by sending a xmas card with a sticky note apologizing to us. We never heard the noises again!
他們也回贈了一張卡片，還道了歉，後來就再也聽不到了！
#6 Can't Beat A Bit Of Passive-Aggressive Wi-Fi Naming
Wi-Fi名互吵，惹不起惹不起！
-你家音樂太吵了！
-你的語法更爛！
@mulk
ahahah! It remind me the story of a guy who named his network "hack me if you can"... the next day, his network was renamed "challenge accepted"
2333333......讓我想起來之前有人給自己家網絡起名字叫“你行你黑我啊”，第二天名字就被改成了“挑戰成功”.
嗯，不要隨便在危險的邊緣試探。
#7 My Sister And Her Husband Live In A Small Town, They Came Home To This Note On Their Door
我妹妹和她丈夫住在一個小鎮上，回家後發現門上貼了張條：
一群好心的鄰居
想要提醒你們
你家浴室的
“單面”毛玻璃
安反了
@My O My
How often did they look through the window before saying that...
在提醒人家之前，他們到底看了多少次啊……
@San Dri Nette
omg must be so embarassing! I think I'd move very far away from the city after that lol
太尷尬了！要是我的話我絕對搬得遠遠地再也不回去了
@Nadine Ducca
I have a similar problems with some neighbors. They insist on showering with the curtains and sometimes even the whole window open and it seems they don't have a shower curtain, either (probably a glass pane).
我們家鄰居也這樣。堅持洗澡的時候不拉簾子不關窗。
So sometimes we walk into the kitchen and suddenly have a full-on view of our naked neighbors showering. It gets worse in summer...
所以有時候我們一走進廚房，鄰居的裸體就映入眼簾了。夏天的時候更是慘不忍睹
#8 Our Elderly Neighbors Have This Sign Posted On The Bike Path In Their Backyard
隔壁年紀大的鄰居在後院的自行車道上樹了這麼個牌子：
此處有監控！我們知道你住哪兒！
你要是不把你家狗拉的屎鏟走，就不要怪我派我孫子去你家草坪上禍禍了！
@Ashley Lopez 10 hours ago
I read that in a old women voice anyone else??
不知不覺就用老太太的聲音讀出來了，還有誰？？
冤冤相報何時了哇。
有時候，防患於未然可以採取一種比較柔和的方式啊，比如下面這位，會提前打招呼，拜託大家幫忙挪貓~
#9 Does Your Cat Have A Death Wish?
你好，
我就是那隻長毛、黑白相間的貓。很不幸的是，我躺在街上了，身邊可能車來車往的。
我會迫使一個司機下車把我從路中間挪走。
可能我不應該出來，因為我有可能會被不小心的司機給軋死，真這樣的話，現場肯定一片悲傷、混亂……
愛你！奉上小魚乾！
@Lios
That's a good person! People shouldn't let their cats run free, period, but definitely not cats like this. If it gets killed, I'm sure they'll be all over the unfortunate driver who couldn't even help it.
主人不應該讓貓到處亂跑，但是貓肯定也不願意這樣的。要是以為這樣不小心被撞死了，司機也是沒辦法啊！
@Bobbi Newell
Love and fishes, love it! I might assume that poor kitty needs a new home, and this is its way of getting adopted. Hehehe...
小魚乾太有愛了！我估計這隻喵是在想辦法求收養吧，哈哈哈哈
但是，碰上愛管閒事兒，整天叨叨讓你漆籬笆的鄰居，下面這位又選擇這樣懟回去：
#10 Look, Bob
Bob, 我家籬笆漆好了，給你看！
@SanchaTheSeeker
Ye my neighbours tell us to paint our fence. When they paint it, paint drips over ours. I could now say to them 'It has paint on it'
嗯，我家鄰居讓我們漆籬笆，他們漆的時候，滴到我們家這邊了，我現在可以說：已經“漆”過了
@Jeremie Guerra
I want him as a neighbor :)
想跟他做鄰居！
@glowworm2
The smiley face at the end is the best part!
最後笑臉滿分！
其實，鄰里之間，需要互相諒解才能避免發生事端。遇到問題時，善意的提醒或者是心平氣和地談一談 也許能夠更有效地解決問題哦~
你和你的鄰居之間有什麼故事，又是怎麼解決鄰里矛盾的，歡迎在評論裡告訴我們喲
文：Sasa
圖：boredpanda、網絡
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