[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering.]
Ross: Guys? There's a somebody I'd like you to meet. 各位我想介紹一個人給大家認識
(A monkey jumps on to his shoulder.)
All: Oooh!
Monica: W-wait. What is that? 等等…這是怎麼回事？
Ross: 'That' would be Marcel. You wanna say hi? 他叫Marcel，想和他打聲招呼？
Monica: No, no, I don't.
Rachel: Oh, he is precious! Where did you get him? 他好珍貴，哪裡得到他的？
Ross: My friend Bethel rescued him from some lab. 我朋友貝瑟把它從實驗室救出來的
Phoebe: That is so cruel! Why? Why would a parent name their child Bethel? 真殘忍 為何有父母會將孩子取名為貝瑟？
Chandler: Hey, that monkey's got a Ross on its ass! 那猴子的屁股上長了個羅斯
Monica: Ross, is he gonna live with you, like, in your apartment? 羅斯，它要和你同住嗎？
Ross: Yeah. I mean, it's been kinda quiet since Carol left, so... 對，Carol離開後家裡冷清清的
Monica: Why don't you just get a roommate? 為何不找個室友？
Ross: Nah, I dunno... I think you reach a certain age, having a roommate is kinda pathe- (Realises) ....sorry, that's, that's 'pathet', which is Sanskrit for 'really cool way to live'. 不知道 人到一定的年紀後 與室友同住是有點可悲… 抱歉，是pathet在梵語中代表很酷的生活方式
Opening Credits
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is getting ready to sing. Joey is not there.]
Phoebe: So you guys, I'm doing all new material tonight. I have twelve new songs about my mother's suicide, and one about a snowman. 各位，我今天將唱全新的曲目 我寫了12首關於我媽自殺的歌 及一首有關雪人的歌
Chandler: Might wanna open with the snowman. 你最好先唱雪人
(Enter Joey)
All: Hey, Joey. Hey, buddy.
Monica: So, how'd it go?
Joey: Ahhhhhh, I didn't get the job. 我沒得到那份工作
Ross: How could you not get it? You were Santa last year. 你怎可能會沒得到？你是去年的聖誕老人
Joey: I dunno. Some fat guy's sleeping with the store manager. He's not even jolly, it's all political. 不知道哪個胖子和店經理有一腿 他根本無法逗人開心，簡直就是利益輸送
Monica: So what are you gonna be? 那麼你扮演什麼？
Joey: Ah, I'm gonna be one of his helpers. It's just such a slap in the face, y'know? 當他的助手，真是恥辱
Rachel: Hey, do you guys know what you're doing for New Year's? (They all protest and hit her with cushions) Gee, what?! What is wrong with New Year's? 你們打算如何過新年？什麼？新年有什麼不對勁嗎？
Chandler: Nothing for you, you have Paolo. You don't have to face the horrible pressures of this holiday: desperate scramble to find anything with lips just so you can have someone to kiss when the ball drops!! Man, I'm talking loud! 你當然沒事，你有保羅 無須面對新年帶來的壓力 無須急著尋找有嘴唇的生物 在球落下那一刻有個親嘴的對象 我講得太憤慨了
Rachel: Well, for your information, Paolo is gonna be in Rome this New Year, so I'll be just as pathetic as the rest of you. 告訴你吧，保羅新年時會在羅馬 所以我將和各位一樣可悲
Phoebe: Yeah, you wish! 想得美
Chandler: It's just that I'm sick of being a victim of this Dick Clark holiday. I say this year, no dates, we make a pact. Just the six of us- dinner. 新年時，我不想再聽到迪克拉克的疲勞轟炸 今年我們在一起，不出去約會 只有我們6個共進晚餐
All: Yeah, okay. Alright.
Chandler: Y'know, I was hoping for a little more enthusiasm. 我希望大家能更開心點
All: Woooo! Yeah!
Rachel: Phoebe, you're on. 菲比,該上臺了
Phoebe: Oh, oh, good.
Rachel: (Into microphone) Okay, hi. Ladies and gentlemen, back by popular demand, Miss Phoebe Buffay. Wooh! 各位 應觀眾要求，Phoebe Buffay小姐
Phoebe: (Takes mike) Thanks, hi. Um, I wanna start with a song that means a lot to me this time of year. (Shakes bell as an introduction) (Sung:) 謝謝，首先的這首歌在這種時節令我感慨萬分
I made a man with eyes of coal我做了一個人，眼睛是煤炭做的
And a smile so bewitchin', 他有謎樣的微笑
How was I supposed to know 我如何能承受
That my mom was dead in the kitchen?母親死在廚房的事實
(shakes bell) La lalala la la la la lalala la la...
(Cut to later. Everyone is totally depressed by now.)
Phoebe: (Sung)
...My mother's ashes 母親的骨灰
Even her eyelashes甚至是她的睫毛
Are resting in a little yellow jar, 都安放在一個黃色的小骨灰罈
And sometimes when it's breezy... 天寒地凍時
(Over the sound of Phoebe singing we hear two scientists, Max and David, having a noisy discussion)
Phoebe: (Sung)
...I feel a little sneezy我感覺有點想打嘖涕
And now I- (abruptly stops)
Excuse me, excuse me! Yeah, noisy boys! (They stop talking and look up) Is it something that you would like to share with the entire group? 如今我…抱歉，吵鬧的兩位 有什麼想和大家分享的嗎？
Max: No. No, that's- that's okay. 沒...沒事
Phoebe: Well, c'mon, if it's important enough to discuss while I'm playing, then I assume it's important enough for everyone else to hear! 快說，如果有事如此重要 你們非在我唱歌時談論 那就重要的足以與我們分享
Chandler: (Quietly, to the others) That guy's going home with a note! 那傢伙鐵定會被訓一頓回家
David: Noth- I was- I was just saying to my-我是告訴我朋友…
Phoebe: Could you speak up please? 大聲點行嗎？
David: (Stands up and speaks more loudly) Sorry, I wa- I was just saying to my friend that I thought you were the most beautiful woman that I'd ever seen in my- in my life. And then he said that- you said you thought抱歉，我告訴我朋友 你是我見過最漂亮的女孩 他說……
Max: Daryl Hannah.
David: Daryl Hannah was the most beautiful woman that he'd ever seen in his life and I said yeah, I liked her in Splash, a lot, but not so much in- in Wall Street, I thought she had kind of a... 黛瑞漢娜 是他見過最美的女人 我說我喜歡”美人魚”中的她 但"華爾街"就沒那麼喜歡了 她沒那種...
Max: Hard quality. 氣質
David: -hard quality. And uh, while Daryl Hannah is beautiful in a conventional way, you are luminous with a kind of a delicate grace. Then, uh, that-that-that's when you started yelling. (Sits down) 黛瑞漢娜是傳統的美 而你散發出高雅的氣質 然後你就叫我們了
Phoebe: Okay, we're gonna take a short break. (Goes over to their table) 休息片刻
Joey: Hey, that guy's going home with more than a note! 那傢伙將抱得美人歸
閱讀更多 打油者說 的文章
