When I was growing up, I was embarrassed to be seen with my father. He was severely crippled and very short, and when we would walk together, his hand on my arm for balance, people would stare. I would inwardly squirm at the unwanted attention. If he ever noticed or was bothered, he never let on.
在我童年的时候,我一直羞于让别人看见我和父亲在一起.他有严重的残疾,身材矮小.当我们一起走路的时候,他的手臂总是挽着我的胳膊以保持平衡,这时人们总是盯着我们看,这不必要的关注令我内心痛苦不已.如果父亲注意到了这些,不管内心多么痛苦,他也从没有表现出来.
It was difficult to coordinate our steps-his halting, mine impatient-and because of that, we didn't say much as we went along. But as we started out, he always said, "You set the pace. I will try to adjust to you."
我的步伐急促,他却一瘸一拐的,我们两个很难协调,因此,我们俩在一起的时候很少说话.但是每次出行的时候,他总是说,"你走你的,我想法儿跟上你."
Our usual walk was to or from the subway, which was how he got to work. He went to work sick, and despite nasty weather. He almost never missed a day, and would make it to the office even if others could not. A matter of pride!
我们通常就在地铁口和家门口之间来回,那是他上班的路线.他生病的时候也要上班,哪怕天气再恶劣.他几乎从未误过一天工,即使在别人不能上班的情况下,他也要设法去上班.真是一件令人无比骄傲的事情!
When snow or ice was on the ground, it was impossible for him to walk, even with help. At such times my sisters or I would pull him through the streets of Brooklyn, NY, on a child's sleigh to the subway entrance. Once there, he would cling to the handrail until he reached the lower steps that the warmer tunnel air kept ice-free. In Manhattan the subway station was the basement of his office building, and he would not have to go outside again until we met him in Brooklyn on his way home.
每当下雪的时候,地上结了冰,即使有人帮忙搀着,他还是举步维艰.而在这个时候,我或我的姐妹们就用儿童雪橇把他拉过纽约布鲁克林区的街道,一直把他送到地铁的入口处.一到那儿,他就抓住扶手,一直走到底下的台阶时才放开手,那里通道的空气暖和些,没有结冰.在曼哈顿,地铁站就在他办公楼的地下一层,我们在布鲁克林接他回家之前,他就不必再走出楼来.
When I think of it now, I marvel at how much courage it must have taken for a grown man to subject himself to such indignity and stress. And at how he did it-without bitterness or complaint.
如今每当我想起这些,我就会惊叹,一个成年男子要忍受这种侮辱和压力得需要多么大的勇气啊!他竟然能够做到这一点,不带任何痛苦,也没有丝毫抱怨.
He never talked about himself as an object of pity, nor did he show any envy of the more fortunate or able. What he looked for in others was a "good heart", and if he found one, the owner was good enough for him. Now that I am older, I believe that is a proper standard by which to judge people, even though I still don't know precisely what a "good heart" is. But I know at times I don't have one myself.
他从来不说自己可怜,也从不妒忌比他幸运或者健康的人.他在别人身上寻找的是一颗"善良的心",当他得到时,便觉得别人真的对他很好.如今我已经长大成人,理解了"善心"是评价人的恰当标准,尽管我仍不很清楚它的确切涵义,但我知道自己有时缺乏善心.
Unable to engage in many activities, my father still tried to participate in some way. When a local sandlot baseball team found itself without a manager, he kept it going. He was a knowledgeable baseball fan and often took me to Ebbets Field to see the Brooklyn Dodgers play. He liked to go to dances and parties, where he could have a good time just sitting and watching.
虽然父亲不能参加许多活动,但他仍然设法以某种方式参与进来.当一个地方棒球队缺少一个经理时,他便做了经理.因为他是个棒球迷,有丰富的棒球知识,他过去常带我去埃比茨棒球场观看布鲁克林道奇队的比赛.他喜欢参加舞会和晚会,坐在那儿看着别人开心自己也觉得很享受.
On one memorable occasion a fight broke out at a beach party, with everyone punching and shoving. He wasn't content to sit and watch, but he couldn't stand unaided on the soft sand. In frustration he began to shout, "I'll fight anyone who will sit down with me!" Nobody did. But the next day people kidded him by saying it was the first time any fighter was urged to take a dive even before the bout began.
记得有一次在海边晚会上,有人打架,动了拳头,推推搡搡.他不甘于坐在那里当观众,但又无法在松软的沙滩上自己站起来.于是,无奈之余,他吼了起来："谁坐到我这儿来,我就跟他打!"没有人响应.但是第二天,人们都取笑他,说还是头一次听说,比赛还没开始,拳手就坐地上了.
I now know he participated in some things vicariously through me, his only son. When I played ball(poorly),he "played" too. When I joined the Navy he "joined" too. And when I came home on leave, he saw to it that I visited his office. Introducing me, he was really saying, "This is my son, but it is also me, and I could have done this, too, if things had been different." Those words were never said aloud.
现在我知道,有一些事情他是通过我-他唯一的儿子来参与的.当我打球时（尽管我打得很差）,他也在"打球".当我参加海军时,他也"参加".当我休假回家时,他一定要让我去参观他的办公室.在介绍我时,他真切地说,"这是我的儿子,但也是我自己.假如我的情况不是这样的话,我也会去参军的."但他从未大声说过这些.
He has been gone many years now, but I think of him often. I wonder if he sensed my reluctance to be seen with him during our walks. If he did, I am sorry I never told him how sorry I was, how unworthy I was, how I regretted it. I think of him when I complain about trifles, when I am envious of another's good fortune, when I don't have a "good heart".
父亲去世已经很多年了,但是我时常想起他.我不知道他是否意识到我曾经不愿意让别人看到我和他一起走.若他确实注意到了,那我感到很惭愧,当时没能对他说我是多么对不起他,我是个多么不孝的儿子,我是多么后悔.每当我因一些琐事而怨天尤人的时候,每当我嫉妒别人运气比我好的时候,每当我缺乏一颗"善心"的时候,我就会想起他.
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