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父親總會將所有的感情都默默地隱藏在內心，任其隨著歲月的流逝愈積愈深。而我們唯有循著歲月的足跡，慢慢地深入探尋，才能發現那隱於無形的父愛其實如山般深沉。下面與大家分享美國著名作家和導演梅爾文·唐納森回憶自己的父親的文章，讀後令人溫暖。這個父親節，讓我們回憶與父親相處的點滴，也給他們送上祝福吧！
It was one of those excruciatingly2) cold New England mornings in 1964. A four-day-old snow had turned to ice as it pressed against my bedroom window. In my twelve-year-old sleepiness, I staggered3) through the dark hallway into the bathroom, hearing the truck’s engine idling4) audibly outside.
1. 本文作者Melvin Donalson：梅爾文·唐納森，美國非裔詩人、小說作家、散文家和電影導演，加利福尼亞州Pasadena City College文學與電影研究教授，曾在《洛杉磯時報》(Los Angeles Times)、《心靈雞湯：非裔版》(Chicken Soup for the African American Soul)等媒體上發表過文章，著有《好萊塢的非裔導演們》(Black Directors in Hollywood)等書。
2. excruciatingly [Ik5skru:FIeItINlI] adv. 造成劇痛地，極痛苦地；使苦惱地；難忍受地
3. stagger [5stA^E(r)] vi. 搖晃，蹣跚
4. idle [5aIdl] vi. (發動機等)空轉
那是1964年新英格蘭一個冷得叫人受不了的早晨。四天前下的一場雪已結成了冰，緊緊地貼在我臥室的窗戶上。12歲的我，睡意矇矓，跌跌撞撞地穿過昏暗的過道去上衛生間時，聽見外面傳來卡車引擎隆隆的空轉聲。
Peering out, I saw his figure—a dark shadow moving against the white background—his breath clouding the air when he exhaled5). I heard his work boots crunching the hard snow with his giant steps. I saw his dark face hidden beneath a knit cap, the upturned coat collar, the woolen scarf wrapped around his neck and chin. One gloved hand guided the ice scraper across the truck’s windshield; the other brushed the shavings like a crystal beard from the truck’s old weathered face.
5. exhale [eks5heIl] vi. 呼氣
凝視窗外，我看見了他的身影——白色的背景下一個黑影在移動，他呼出的熱氣把周圍的空氣變成了霧濛濛的一片。我聽見他的工作靴隨著他巨人般的步伐將堅硬的冰雪踩得嘎吱作響，看見他黝黑的臉藏在一頂編織帽下面，衣領豎了起來，羊毛圍巾把脖子和下巴裹得嚴嚴實實。他一隻手戴著手套，操縱著刮冰器在刮卡車擋風玻璃上的冰；另一隻手則像刮鬍須一樣，將那些晶瑩剔透的銀鬚般的冰花從卡車那張飽經滄桑的“臉”上一一刷掉。
Daddy. Moving with a quick purpose, driven by a commitment6) and a responsibility taught him thirty-five years earlier in Depression-era7) Georgia. Daddy. A silent gladiator who was stepping once more into the hostile arena8) of the day’s battle. Daddy. Awake while the rest of the world slept. And as he slid behind the steering wheel, driving carefully from the driveway onto the street, the truck was swallowed up9) by dawn’s dimness. As I returned to the warmth of my blankets—in my own bed, in my own room—I knew I could go back to sleep, to dream, because Daddy was outside facing the cold.
6. commitment [kE5mItmEnt] n. 承諾，許諾；承擔的義務
7. Depression-era：大蕭條時期，指第二次世界大戰前發生的全球經濟危機。一般認為始於1929年，一直持續到20世紀30年代末期或40年代早期。它被認為是20世紀持續時間最長，影響最廣、最深的一場經濟危機。
8. arena [E5ri:nE] n.〈喻〉競爭場所
9. swallow up：吞沒；淹沒，使消失
這就是老爸， 在35年前大蕭條時期的佐治亞，他學會了一種義務和責任，這種義務和責任驅使他說幹就幹，從不拖泥帶水。老爸，一名沉默寡言的角鬥士，又一次走進了“殺機四伏”的競技場，為一日的生計奮力搏鬥。這就是老爸，世人皆睡時唯他獨醒。他哧溜一下坐到方向盤前，小心翼翼地駛出自家車道，往街上開去，卡車淹沒在了黎明的朦朧中。等我回到自己的房間，爬上自己的床，鑽進暖洋洋的毯子時，我知道我又可以倒頭大睡，安然做夢了，因為有老爸在外面迎戰嚴寒。
Throughout the many junior-and senior-high mornings I watched my father go to work, I never told him how that vision affected me. I simply wondered at his ability to do what he did: keeping the kitchen filled with food, making the payments on my music lessons, covering the car insurance so I could drive during my senior year, piling the Christmas gifts beneath the tree, taking me to Boston to buy new clothes, dragging me to church on Sundays, driving me to visit college campuses on his day off, kissing and teasing my mother in the living room, and nodding off10) in his easy chair in the middle of a sentence. Perhaps it was because these scenes seemed so ordinary that I never spoke of them, never weighed them beyond my own selfish adolescent needs.
10. nod off：打瞌睡，睡著
上初中和高中那會兒，好多個早晨，我都是這樣看著父親去上班的。那幕情景讓我深受觸動，但我從未將自己的感觸告訴過他。我只是暗自好奇，他何以能做到那一切：從未讓廚房裡缺過吃的；出錢供我學音樂；給汽車上保險，確保我高三能夠開車上學；在聖誕樹下堆滿聖誕禮物；帶我去波士頓買新衣服；禮拜日拽著我上教堂去做禮拜；休息日開車陪我逛大學校園；在起居室裡吻我母親，哄她開心；說著說著話就迷迷瞪瞪地在自己的休閒椅上睡著了。也許就是因為這些場景顯得是那樣的普通和尋常，我才從來沒有提起過它們。除了琢磨自己那點年輕人自私的需求，我也從未仔細掂量過它們於我的意義何在。
And then at college, away from him—when his presence became merely the voice over the phone during weekend calls or the name scribbled11) at the bottom of the weekly letter stuffed with a ten-dollar bill—I thought other men were more significant than Daddy. Those men who taught my classes in polysyllabic12) words, wrote articles in journals and explained complex philosophies and theorems. Daddy never did any of that—he couldn’t with only a high school education. My hero worship made me a disciple to Ivy League scholars who ignited my dormant13) ideas and dead men whose names were printed on book covers, buildings and the currency I hungered to possess.
11. scribble [5skrIbl] vt. 潦草書寫
12. polysyllabic [7pClIsI5lAbIk] adj. 多音節的
13. dormant [5dC:mEnt] adj. 潛在的，潛伏的
後來上了大學，不在他身邊了——只是在週末的電話裡才能聽到他的聲音，或者在每週夾著一張十美元鈔票的來信的信尾才能見到他潦草的簽名——我覺得別的男人都比老爸強。那些男人在課堂上用複雜的詞彙對我們諄諄教誨，為雜誌撰寫文章，還會解釋五花八門的哲學和複雜的原理。那樣的事情，老爸一件也沒幹過——他只念過高中，幹不了。我的英雄觀令我拜倒在那些喚醒了我潛在思想的常春藤名牌大學的學者腳下，令我對那些大名印在書皮上、建築物上以及我求之若渴的鈔票上的死人肅然起敬。
Then, as I traveled to Europe in my later college years, I realized I had seen more, had traveled farther and had achieved greater distinctions than Daddy ever had. I was filled with a sense of self-importance, puffed up14) with grad-school grants and deluded15) with degrees and accolades16) assigned to my name.
14. puff up：使趾高氣揚，使驕傲自滿
15. delude [dI5lu:d] vt. 欺騙；哄騙
16. accolade [5AkEuleId] n. 榮譽；獎勵；讚美；讚賞表示
再後來，大學的後幾年，我遊學去了歐洲，覺得自己的見識比老爸多了，到過的地方比老爸遠了，名氣比老爸大了。我渾身上下透出一股自命不凡的勁兒，因為拿了研究生院的獎學金而趾高氣揚，錯以為署著我名字的學位和榮譽就能證明我很能幹。
Then, I entered the formidable17) arena—the job, the relationships, the creditors, the pressures and the indignities of racial politics. As I reached my late twenties, I looked forward to returning home, talking with Daddy, sharing a ball game, watching an old Western on television, drinking a beer, listening to a story about his childhood days in Georgia and hearing his warm, fulfilling laughter. I rediscovered Daddy again—not as a boy in awe, but with respect as a man. And I realized a truth that I could not articulate18) as a child—Daddy was always there for me. Unlike the professors, the books, the celebrity heroes, the mentors, he was always there. He was my father, a man who committed himself to a thankless job in a society that had written him off19) with statistics and stereotypes.
17. formidable [5fC:mIdEbl] adj. 令人敬畏的，可怕的
18. articulate [B:5tIkjuleIt] vt. 明確有力地表達
19. write sb. off：認定某人不重要(或無用)
再後來，我進入了令人生畏的競技場——沒完沒了的工作、複雜的人際關係、各種各樣的債權人、方方面面的壓力以及種族政治的侮辱讓我應接不暇，難以招架。到了二十七八歲後，我開始盼望回到家裡，跟老爸聊聊天，玩玩球，看看電視上的老西部片，喝喝啤酒，聽他講講他童年時代在佐治亞的故事，聽他那爽朗開懷的笑聲。我重新認識了老爸——少了一個小男孩兒的敬畏，多了一個七尺男兒的敬重。我認識到了一條兒時難以道出的真理——老爸無時無刻不在為我著想。不像那些教授、書本、導師、大名鼎鼎的英雄們，他總是有求必應。他是我的父親，一個將自己的一生獻給了社會上一份無人領情的工作的人，而那個社會憑藉著統計數據和各種成見早已將他歸入無足輕重之輩。
When I reached my early thirties, when I became a father myself, I saw my own father with greater clarity. As I awoke in the early morning hours, compromised my wants, dealt with insults and worked overtime in order to give my son his own room—with his own bed and his own dreams—I realized I was able to do those things because my father had done them for me.
三十出頭的時候，我自己也身為人父了，這時，我才對自己的父親有了更清晰的認識。能為了給兒子一個屬於他自己的房間——有著他自己的床和他自己的夢想的房間——我天不亮就起床，放棄自己的需要，忍氣吞聲，加班加點。我覺得我之所以能做到這些，是因為我的父親曾為我做過這些事。
And now, at age forty-seven, when I spend precious moments with my own thirteen-year-old son, when we spend fleeting moments together at a movie, on a basketball court, in church or on the highway, I wonder what he thinks of me. At what point will I slip away from his world of important men, and will there be a point when he’ll return to me with a nod of understanding? How will he measure my weaknesses and strengths, my flaws and distinctions, my nightmares and dreams? Will he claim me in the name of love and respect?
現在，我四十有七了，每當我跟自己13歲的兒子度過寶貴的時光，跟他一起看電影、打籃球、做禮拜或者在公路上兜風來打發那如梭的光陰時，我都在想自己在他眼裡是個什麼樣的形象。我何時會從他那份“舉足輕重的男人”名單上被清除掉？會有他理解我、首肯我並回到我身邊的那一天嗎？他會怎樣評價我的弱點與長處，缺陷與特長，夢魘與夢想？他會以愛和敬重的名義認我這個父親嗎？
Sometimes the simple lessons are the most difficult to teach. Sometimes the most essential truths are the most difficult to learn. I hope my son will one day cherish all the lessons and truths that have flowed to him, through me, from his grandfather. And as my son grows older, I believe that he, too, will measure his steps by the strides20) I have made for him, just as I have achieved my goals because of the strides my father has made for me. When my son does this, perhaps he will feel the same pride and fulfillment that I do when I say, “I am my father’s son.”
20. stride [straId] n. [~s] 進展，進步
有時候，簡單的課程是最難教的；有時候，最基本的道理是最難學的。我希望我的兒子有朝一日能珍惜經由我從他爺爺那兒承襲下來的所有教訓和真理。而隨著我兒子的一天天長大，我相信他也會以我為他確定的前進步伐來調整自己的步伐，正像我因為我父親為我確定的前進步伐而實現了各種目標一樣。等我兒子做到這一點時，或許他就會和我一樣倍感欣慰，不無自豪地說：“我是我父親的兒子。
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