Real men don't cry. We just get something in our eye
真正的男人不會哭。我們只是得到了一些東西
zhēn zhèng de nán rén bú huì kū 。wǒ men zhī shì dé dào le yī xiē dōng xī
A short walk from my house in Hampshire, on a hill overlooking the heathland, is a plaque1 marking the spot where Richard Pryce Jones deliberately2 crashed his Halifax bomber3 during the war. He could have parachuted to safety, but that would have meant crashing into the village. The epitaph reads: "He died that others might live."
從我在漢普郡的家走一小段路，在俯瞰荒野的小山上，有一塊牌匾，標明在戰爭期間理查德·普賴斯·瓊斯故意擊落他的哈利法克斯轟炸機的地方。他本來可以跳傘到安全的地方，但那意味著要衝進村子裡去。墓誌銘寫道：“他死了，其他人可能活下去。”
cóng wǒ zài hàn pǔ jun4 de jiā zǒu yī xiǎo duàn lù ，zài fǔ kàn huāng yě de xiǎo shān shàng ，yǒu yī kuài pái biǎn ，biāo míng zài zhàn zhēng qī jiān lǐ chá dé ·pǔ lài sī ·qióng sī gù yì jī luò tā de hā lì fǎ kè sī hōng zhà jī de dì fāng 。tā běn lái kě yǐ tiào sǎn dào ān quán de dì fāng ，dàn nà yì wèi zhe yào chōng jìn cūn zǐ lǐ qù 。mù zhì míng xiě dào ：“tā sǐ le ，qí tā rén kě néng huó xià qù 。”
It never fails to move me. Not to tears, you understand. That would be disrespectful. But I do usually manage a lump in the throat and that film of moisture over the eyes that men have in their emotional armoury. Gordon Brown demonstrated the non-crying cry beautifully when he made his farewell speech on the steps of Number 10. That catch in the throat. The determination not to weep in public. At that moment, if at no other, he had nobility.
它從未感動過我。不要流淚，你懂的。那是不敬的。但我通常會在喉嚨和喉嚨裡的溼氣中發現男人的情感武器。Gordon Brown在第10步的告別演說中表現出了不哭的叫聲。那是喉嚨裡的東西。在公共場合不哭的決心。在那一刻，如果沒有別的，他就有高貴。
tā cóng wèi gǎn dòng guò wǒ 。bú yào liú lèi ，nǐ dǒng de 。nà shì bú jìng de 。dàn wǒ tōng cháng huì zài hóu lóng hé hóu lóng lǐ de shī qì zhōng fā xiàn nán rén de qíng gǎn wǔ qì 。Gordon Brownzài dì 10bù de gào bié yǎn shuō zhōng biǎo xiàn chū le bú kū de jiào shēng 。nà shì hóu lóng lǐ de dōng xī 。zài gōng gòng chǎng hé bú kū de jué xīn 。zài nà yī kè ，rú guǒ méi yǒu bié de ，tā jiù yǒu gāo guì 。
Not everyone can carry it off. I don't think Paul Gascoigne ever quite got the hang of it, for example. But I like to think I have it down to an art, my technique honed from years of watching The Railway Children, Sleepless4 in Seattle and that scene in Dumbo when the mother elephant is locked away. "Daddy!" my sons will say, pointing the accusing finger. "You're crying!"
不是每個人都能做到的。例如，我認為保羅·加斯科因從來沒有掌握過這方面的訣竅。但我想我把它歸結為一種藝術，我的技巧是通過多年觀看《鐵道兒童》、《西雅圖失眠》和《鄧波》中母象被鎖起來的場景而磨練出來的。爸爸！”我的兒子會指著指責的手指說。你哭了！”
bú shì měi gè rén dōu néng zuò dào de 。lì rú ，wǒ rèn wéi bǎo luó ·jiā sī kē yīn cóng lái méi yǒu zhǎng wò guò zhè fāng miàn de jué qiào 。dàn wǒ xiǎng wǒ bǎ tā guī jié wéi yī zhǒng yì shù ，wǒ de jì qiǎo shì tōng guò duō nián guān kàn 《tiě dào ér tóng 》、《xī yǎ tú shī mián 》hé 《dèng bō 》zhōng mǔ xiàng bèi suǒ qǐ lái de chǎng jǐng ér mó liàn chū lái de 。bà bà ！”wǒ de ér zǐ huì zhǐ zhe zhǐ zé de shǒu zhǐ shuō 。nǐ kū le ！”
"Me? Over Dumbo? Ha ha ha. No, boys, what I am doing is man-crying, a sort of non-crying cry. I'll teach you it one day. Very useful."
“我？超過Dumbo？哈哈哈。不，孩子們，我在做的是男人哭，一種不哭的叫聲。總有一天我會教你的。非常有用。”
“wǒ ？chāo guò Dumbo？hā hā hā 。bú ，hái zǐ men ，wǒ zài zuò de shì nán rén kū ，yī zhǒng bú kū de jiào shēng 。zǒng yǒu yī tiān wǒ huì jiāo nǐ de 。fēi cháng yǒu yòng 。”
They are too young to appreciate the nuance5 yet, but when they are older I will explain that open sobbing6 is associated with being female, and so inappropriate for men. The Charlie Chaplin analogy might be useful here. He once said that the way to act drunk is to imagine yourself a drunk man trying to act sober. The same is true when a man learns the non-crying cry. To be convincing, you must look as if you are trying to avoid tears.
他們還太年輕，還不能領略其中的細微差別，但是當他們長大後，我會解釋說，公開哭泣和女性有關，所以不適合男性。Charlie Chaplin的比喻在這裡可能有用。他曾經說過，喝醉的方式是想象自己是一個酒鬼，試圖表現清醒。當一個人學會了不哭的哭聲也是如此。要令人信服，你必須看起來像是在試圖避免眼淚。
tā men hái tài nián qīng ，hái bú néng lǐng luè qí zhōng de xì wēi chà bié ，dàn shì dāng tā men zhǎng dà hòu ，wǒ huì jiě shì shuō ，gōng kāi kū qì hé nǚ xìng yǒu guān ，suǒ yǐ bú shì hé nán xìng 。Charlie Chaplinde bǐ yù zài zhè lǐ kě néng yǒu yòng 。tā céng jīng shuō guò ，hē zuì de fāng shì shì xiǎng xiàng zì jǐ shì yī gè jiǔ guǐ ，shì tú biǎo xiàn qīng xǐng 。dāng yī gè rén xué huì le bú kū de kū shēng yě shì rú cǐ 。yào lìng rén xìn fú ，nǐ bì xū kàn qǐ lái xiàng shì zài shì tú bì miǎn yǎn lèi 。
In this respect, it is important for a young man to appreciate the difference between male tears and female. I remember once asking the actress Emilia Fox if she could cry at will, right there and then, over lunch. To my astonishment7, she could – from a standing8 start. Fat tears rolling down her cheeks. When she had finished, she resumed her smiling countenance9.
在這方面，重要的是年輕人要欣賞男性眼淚與女性的區別。我記得有一次，我問女演員艾米麗雅·福克斯，她是否可以隨心所欲地哭，就在那裡吃午飯。令我驚訝的是，她能從一開始就開始。她淚流滿面。當她說完後，她又恢復了笑容。
zài zhè fāng miàn ，zhòng yào de shì nián qīng rén yào xīn shǎng nán xìng yǎn lèi yǔ nǚ xìng de qū bié 。wǒ jì dé yǒu yī cì ，wǒ wèn nǚ yǎn yuán ài mǐ lì yǎ ·fú kè sī ，tā shì fǒu kě yǐ suí xīn suǒ yù dì kū ，jiù zài nà lǐ chī wǔ fàn 。lìng wǒ jīng yà de shì ，tā néng cóng yī kāi shǐ jiù kāi shǐ 。tā lèi liú mǎn miàn 。dāng tā shuō wán hòu ，tā yòu huī fù le xiào róng 。
Those are female tears, and the reason you never hear anyone say: "It's enough to make a grown woman cry." That expression only works when it refers to "grown men" and though that may seem tautological10, the "grown" is justified11. Not all men are grown. The emotionally incontinent exhibitionists who cry when they are kicked off talent shows such as The X Factor are not grown men, for example. Men have to be careful what they cry at, because some subjects are more worthy12 of tears than others. Grief, obviously. But not self-pity. And rarely should a man cry in pain. And never at the death of a princess he didn't know. Those are the rules.
這些是女性的眼淚，所以你從來沒聽人說：“讓成年女性哭就足夠了。”這個表達只有在提到“成年男性”時才有效，雖然這看起來像是同義反復，但“成年”是合理的。不是所有的男人都長大了。例如，《X因素》等才藝節目開演時，情緒失控的表演者會哭，但他們不是成年人。男人必須小心他們哭什麼，因為有些科目比其他人更值得流淚。悲傷，很明顯。但不是自憐。很少有人在痛苦中哭泣。而且永遠不會在一個他不認識的公主的死。這些就是規則。
zhè xiē shì nǚ xìng de yǎn lèi ，suǒ yǐ nǐ cóng lái méi tīng rén shuō ：“ràng chéng nián nǚ xìng kū jiù zú gòu le 。”zhè gè biǎo dá zhī yǒu zài tí dào “chéng nián nán xìng ”shí cái yǒu xiào ，suī rán zhè kàn qǐ lái xiàng shì tóng yì fǎn fù ，dàn “chéng nián ”shì hé lǐ de 。bú shì suǒ yǒu de nán rén dōu zhǎng dà le 。lì rú ，《Xyīn sù 》děng cái yì jiē mù kāi yǎn shí ，qíng xù shī kòng de biǎo yǎn zhě huì kū ，dàn tā men bú shì chéng nián rén 。nán rén bì xū xiǎo xīn tā men kū shí me ，yīn wéi yǒu xiē kē mù bǐ qí tā rén gèng zhí dé liú lèi 。bēi shāng ，hěn míng xiǎn 。dàn bú shì zì lián 。hěn shǎo yǒu rén zài tòng kǔ zhōng kū qì 。ér qiě yǒng yuǎn bú huì zài yī gè tā bú rèn shí de gōng zhǔ de sǐ 。zhè xiē jiù shì guī zé 。
I suspect my colleague Matt Pritchett might be with me on this. One of his cartoons this past week showed a father next to a television tuned13 to the World Cup, explaining to his children that "at some point in the next few weeks, you are going to see me cry". And the day after the last survivor14 of the Great Escape died, he did a cartoon showing a gravestone with a mound15 of tunnelled earth trailing away from it. I seemed to have something in my eye when I saw that, and I expect he had the same something in his eye when he drew it.
我懷疑我的同事Matt Pritchett可能會和我在一起。上週，他的一部卡通片展示了一位父親坐在一臺收看世界盃的電視機旁，向他的孩子們解釋道：“在未來幾周的某個時候，你們會看到我哭。”在大逃亡的最後一個倖存者死後的第二天，他畫了一幅卡通畫，上面畫著一塊墓碑，墓碑後面有一座土坑。當我看到它的時候，我的眼睛裡好像有什麼東西，我想他畫的時候眼睛裡也有同樣的東西。
wǒ huái yí wǒ de tóng shì Matt Pritchettkě néng huì hé wǒ zài yī qǐ 。shàng zhōu ，tā de yī bù kǎ tōng piàn zhǎn shì le yī wèi fù qīn zuò zài yī tái shōu kàn shì jiè bēi de diàn shì jī páng ，xiàng tā de hái zǐ men jiě shì dào ：“zài wèi lái jǐ zhōu de mǒu gè shí hòu ，nǐ men huì kàn dào wǒ kū 。”zài dà táo wáng de zuì hòu yī gè xìng cún zhě sǐ hòu de dì èr tiān ，tā huà le yī fú kǎ tōng huà ，shàng miàn huà zhe yī kuài mù bēi ，mù bēi hòu miàn yǒu yī zuò tǔ kēng 。dāng wǒ kàn dào tā de shí hòu ，wǒ de yǎn jīng lǐ hǎo xiàng yǒu shí me dōng xī ，wǒ xiǎng tā huà de shí hòu yǎn jīng lǐ yě yǒu tóng yàng de dōng xī 。
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