[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering.]
Ross: Guys? There's a somebody I'd like you to meet. 各位我想介绍一个人给大家认识
(A monkey jumps on to his shoulder.)
All: Oooh!
Monica: W-wait. What is that? 等等…这是怎么回事？
Ross: 'That' would be Marcel. You wanna say hi? 他叫Marcel，想和他打声招呼？
Monica: No, no, I don't.
Rachel: Oh, he is precious! Where did you get him? 他好珍贵，哪里得到他的？
Ross: My friend Bethel rescued him from some lab. 我朋友贝瑟把它从实验室救出来的
Phoebe: That is so cruel! Why? Why would a parent name their child Bethel? 真残忍 为何有父母会将孩子取名为贝瑟？
Chandler: Hey, that monkey's got a Ross on its ass! 那猴子的屁股上长了个罗斯
Monica: Ross, is he gonna live with you, like, in your apartment? 罗斯，它要和你同住吗？
Ross: Yeah. I mean, it's been kinda quiet since Carol left, so... 对，Carol离开后家里冷清清的
Monica: Why don't you just get a roommate? 为何不找个室友？
Ross: Nah, I dunno... I think you reach a certain age, having a roommate is kinda pathe- (Realises) ....sorry, that's, that's 'pathet', which is Sanskrit for 'really cool way to live'. 不知道 人到一定的年纪后 与室友同住是有点可悲… 抱歉，是pathet在梵语中代表很酷的生活方式
Opening Credits
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is getting ready to sing. Joey is not there.]
Phoebe:
Chandler: Might wanna open with the snowman. 你最好先唱雪人
(Enter Joey)
All: Hey, Joey. Hey, buddy.
Monica: So, how'd it go?
Joey: Ahhhhhh, I didn't get the job. 我没得到那份工作
Ross: How could you not get it? You were Santa last year. 你怎可能会没得到？你是去年的圣诞老人
Joey: I dunno. Some fat guy's sleeping with the store manager. He's not even jolly, it's all political. 不知道哪个胖子和店经理有一腿 他根本无法逗人开心，简直就是利益输送
Monica: So what are you gonna be? 那么你扮演什么？
Joey: Ah, I'm gonna be one of his helpers. It's just such a slap in the face, y'know? 当他的助手，真是耻辱
Rachel: Hey, do you guys know what you're doing for New Year's? (They all protest and hit her with cushions) Gee, what?! What is wrong with New Year's? 你们打算如何过新年？什么？新年有什么不对劲吗？
Chandler: Nothing for you, you have Paolo. You don't have to face the horrible pressures of this holiday: desperate scramble to find anything with lips just so you can have someone to kiss when the ball drops!! Man, I'm talking loud! 你当然没事，你有保罗 无须面对新年带来的压力 无须急着寻找有嘴唇的生物 在球落下那一刻有个亲嘴的对象 我讲得太愤慨了
Rachel: Well, for your information, Paolo is gonna be in Rome this New Year, so I'll be just as pathetic as the rest of you. 告诉你吧，保罗新年时会在罗马 所以我将和各位一样可悲
Phoebe: Yeah, you wish! 想得美
Chandler: It's just that I'm sick of being a victim of this Dick Clark holiday. I say this year, no dates, we make a pact. Just the six of us- dinner. 新年时，我不想再听到迪克拉克的疲劳轰炸 今年我们在一起，不出去约会 只有我们6个共进晚餐
All: Yeah, okay. Alright.
Chandler: Y'know, I was hoping for a little more enthusiasm. 我希望大家能更开心点
All: Woooo! Yeah!
Rachel: Phoebe, you're on. 菲比,该上台了
Phoebe: Oh, oh, good.
Rachel: (Into microphone) Okay, hi. Ladies and gentlemen, back by popular demand, Miss Phoebe Buffay. Wooh! 各位 应观众要求，Phoebe Buffay小姐
Phoebe: (Takes mike) Thanks, hi. Um, I wanna start with a song that means a lot to me this time of year. (Shakes bell as an introduction) (Sung:) 谢谢，首先的这首歌在这种时节令我感慨万分
I made a man with eyes of coal我做了一个人，眼睛是煤炭做的
And a smile so bewitchin', 他有谜样的微笑
How was I supposed to know 我如何能承受
That my mom was dead in the kitchen?母亲死在厨房的事实
(shakes bell) La lalala la la la la lalala la la...
(Cut to later. Everyone is totally depressed by now.)
Phoebe: (Sung)
...My mother's ashes 母亲的骨灰
Even her eyelashes甚至是她的睫毛
Are resting in a little yellow jar, 都安放在一个黄色的小骨灰坛
And sometimes when it's breezy... 天寒地冻时
(Over the sound of Phoebe singing we hear two scientists, Max and David, having a noisy discussion)
Phoebe: (Sung)
...I feel a little sneezy我感觉有点想打啧涕
And now I- (abruptly stops)
Excuse me, excuse me! Yeah, noisy boys! (They stop talking and look up) Is it something that you would like to share with the entire group? 如今我…抱歉，吵闹的两位 有什么想和大家分享的吗？
Max: No. No, that's- that's okay. 没...没事
Phoebe: Well, c'mon, if it's important enough to discuss while I'm playing, then I assume it's important enough for everyone else to hear! 快说，如果有事如此重要 你们非在我唱歌时谈论 那就重要的足以与我们分享
Chandler: (Quietly, to the others) That guy's going home with a note! 那家伙铁定会被训一顿回家
David: Noth- I was- I was just saying to my-我是告诉我朋友…
Phoebe: Could you speak up please? 大声点行吗？
David: (Stands up and speaks more loudly) Sorry, I wa- I was just saying to my friend that I thought you were the most beautiful woman that I'd ever seen in my- in my life. And then he said that- you said you thought抱歉，我告诉我朋友 你是我见过最漂亮的女孩 他说……
Max: Daryl Hannah.
David: Daryl Hannah was the most beautiful woman that he'd ever seen in his life and I said yeah, I liked her in Splash, a lot, but not so much in- in Wall Street, I thought she had kind of a... 黛瑞汉娜 是他见过最美的女人 我说我喜欢”美人鱼”中的她 但"华尔街"就没那么喜欢了 她没那种...
Max: Hard quality. 气质
David: -hard quality. And uh, while Daryl Hannah is beautiful in a conventional way, you are luminous with a kind of a delicate grace. Then, uh, that-that-that's when you started yelling. (Sits down) 黛瑞汉娜是传统的美 而你散发出高雅的气质 然后你就叫我们了
Phoebe: Okay, we're gonna take a short break. (Goes over to their table) 休息片刻
Joey: Hey, that guy's going home with more than a note! 那家伙将抱得美人归