各位我想介紹一個人給大家認識
Guys, there's somebody I'd like you to meet.
等等這是怎麼回事
Wait, wait. What is that?
他叫馬塞爾 想和他打聲招呼嗎
That's Marcel. Wanna say hi?
不 我不要
No, I don't.
真是太寶貴了 從哪兒弄的
Oh, he is precious! Where'd you get him?
我朋友貝塞爾從某個實驗室裡救出來的
My friend Bethel saved him from a lab.
真殘忍
That is so cruel.
為何有父母會將孩子取名為聖地
Why? Why would a parent name their child Bethel?
這猴子的屁股上長了個羅斯
Hey, that monkey's got a Ross on its ass
羅斯 他要和你住一起嗎 住在你家
Ross, is he gonna live with you, like, in your apartment?
對 卡羅爾離開後 家裡冷清清的
Yeah. I mean, it's been kinda quiet since Carol left, so...
你為什麼不找一個室友
Why don't you just get a roommate?
不 我不要 我覺得人到一定年紀後
Nah, I dunno... I think you reach a certain age,
還與室友同住是有點可悲
having a roommate is kinda pathe-
抱歉 是可佩
Sorry, that's, that's 'pathet',
在梵語中代表很酷的生活方式
which is Sanskrit for 'really cool way to live'.
各位 我今天將唱全新的曲目
So you guys, I'm doing all new material tonight.
我這裡有12首新歌是關於我媽媽的自殺的
I have twelve new songs about my mother's suicide,
還有一首關於雪人的歌
and one about a snowman.
你最好先唱雪人的那首
You might wanna open with the snowman.
-喬伊 -老兄
- Hi, Joey. - Hey, buddy.
-怎麼樣 -我沒得到那份工作
- So how'd it go? - I didn't get the job.
怎麼可能 你去年就是聖誕老人啊
How could you not get it? You were Santa last year.
我不知道 某個胖子和店經理上床了
I don't know. Some fat guy's sleeping with the store manager.
他根本無法逗人開心 這就是潛規則
He's not even jolly. It's all political.
那麼你扮演什麼
So what are you gonna be?
當他的助手[小精靈]
I'm gonna be one of his helpers.
這簡直是當頭一棒 你明白嗎
It's just such a slap in the face, you know?
你們幾個準備怎麼過新年
Hey, do you guys know what you're doing for New Year's
怎麼了 新年有什麼不對勁嗎
Gee, what?! What is wrong with New Year's
你當然沒事 你有保羅
Nothing for you, you have Paolo.
無須面對這種糟糕的節日壓力
You don't have to face the horrible pressures of this holiday:
在絕望中掙扎著尋找一個嘴唇
desperate scramble to find anything with lips
好在球掉下來時接吻
just so you can have someone to kiss when the ball drops!!
哦 我說得太大聲了
Man, I'm talking loud!
跟你說一下
Well, for your information,
保羅新年期間會在羅馬
Paolo is gonna be in Rome this New Year,
-所以我將和各位一樣可悲 -想得美
- I'll be just as pathetic as you. - Yeah, you wish.
我不想再成為迪克·拉克（新年慶典主持）的疲勞轟炸受害人
I'm sick of being a victim of this Dick Clark holiday.
要我說 今年 不約會
I say this year, no dates,
咱們定個協議 就咱六人共進晚餐
we make a pact. Just the six of us- dinner.
-行啊 -好
- Yeah, okay. - Alright.
我本來希望大家能更開心點的
Y'know, I was hoping for a little more enthusiasm.
-菲比 該上臺了 -哦 好的
- Phoebe, you' re on. - Oh, good.
女士們先生們 應大家要求
Okay, hi. Ladies and gentlemen, back by popular demand,
有請菲比·布菲小姐
... Miss Phoebe Buffay.
謝謝 大家好
Hi. Thanks. Hi.
首先我想要唱一首
I wanna start with a song
對現在的我意義非凡的歌
that means a lot to me this time of year.
*我用煤當眼球堆了一個雪人*
*I made a man with eyes of coal*
*他有迷人的笑容*
*And a smile so bewitching*
*可我怎麼能忘記*
*How was I supposed to know*
*我媽媽在廚房中自殺的情景*
*That my mom was dead in the kitchen?*
*我媽媽的骨灰*
*My mother's ashes*
*還有她的眼睫毛*
*Even her eyelashes*
*都裝在一個小黃罈子裡*
*Are resting in a little yellow jar*
*在有風的時候*
*And sometimes when it's freezing*
*我有點想打噴嚏*
*I feel a little sneezy*
*而我現在*
*And now I...*
打擾一下 不好意思 吵鬧的男生
Excuse me? Excuse me? Yeah, noisy boys.
有什麼事情可以和
Is it something that you would like to
在座的各位分享一下的嗎
share with the entire group?
沒 沒 沒有
No. No, that's- that's okay
拜託 如果這事情都已經重要到
Well, c'mon, if it's important enough
非要打斷我的表演了
to discuss while I'm playing,
那麼我想也已經足夠到可以和大家分享吧
then I assume it's important enough for everyone else to hear.
這傢伙回家時可要帶上注意事項了
That guy's going home with a note.
沒什麼 我只是 對我的
Noth- I was- I was just saying to my-
大聲點行嗎
Could you speak up please?
抱歉 我 我只是在對我朋友說
Sorry, I wa- I was just saying to my friend that
我覺得你是我這一生見過的
I thought you were the most beautiful woman that
最漂亮的女孩
I'd ever seen in my- in my life.
然後他說 你說你覺得
And then he said that- you said you thought
達麗爾·漢納
Daryl Hannah.
達麗爾·漢納是他見過最美的女人
Daryl Hannah was the most beautiful woman that he'd ever seen in his life.
我說我喜歡《美人魚》中的她
And I said yeah, I liked her in Splash, a lot,
但《華爾街》就沒那麼喜歡了
but not so much in- in Wall Street,
我覺得她沒什麼氣質
I thought she had a hard quality.
還有 達麗爾·漢納是流行的美
And uh, while Daryl Hannah is beautiful in a conventional way,
但你全身都散發著難得的古典美
you are luminous with a kind of a delicate grace.
然後你就開始喊叫了
Then, uh, that-that-that's when you started yelling.
好的 咱們稍微休息一會吧
Okay, we're gonna take a short break.
那小夥拿回家的遠不止注意事項了啊
That guy's going home with more than a note.
過來 馬塞爾 坐這兒
Come here, Marcel. Sit here.
菲比 我真不敢相信他還沒有吻你
Pheebs, I can't believe he hasn't kissed you yet.
天哪 我和保羅第六次約會時
I mean God, by my sixth date with Paolo,
他就為我的胸部起好名字了
I mean he had already named both my breasts!
我分享太多了嗎
Did I just share too much?
一點點
Just a smidge.
未完
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