I think Gordon Hayward kinda wanted a boy...
我覺得海沃德是真想生個男孩……
視頻：海沃德聽聞第三個孩子又是女兒，敷衍態度一目瞭然（時長38秒）>>
對話：
妻子：準備好了嗎？快跟爸爸說“爹地可以幫幫我（打開箱子）嘛？”
女兒：幫我一下。
海沃德：好的。
海沃德：哇…………………………哦………哦……
妻子：你想要女兒嗎？
海沃德：bernie（海沃德的小女兒）你猜對了。
妻子：爸爸高興嘛？
海沃德：爸爸一直都高興……
[–]Dom_Olivares 4055 指標 4 天前
Somebody said “Would’ve been a boy if you stayed in Utah” let the man live lol
這條Ins底下的評論：“海沃德要是留在猶他的話生的就是男孩了！”
哈哈哈放過這個男人吧。
[–]Celticsduckfubstep 459 指標 4 天前
I saw that too. Poor guy lmao.
我也看到了。哈哈哈真可憐。
[–]ClippersArkitektnz 844 指標 4 天前
Not called salt lake city for nothing.
猶他被稱作“鹽”湖城不是沒有原因的。[譯註1]
[譯註1]在英語語境中，salty（鹹）指代嫉妒和耿耿於懷的心態。跟中文中的“酸”恰好是一個意思。
[–][UTA] Joe Inglesksmith944 222 指標 4 天前
Maybe, but it's 100% accurate. Butterfly effect bitch. Science.
爵士球迷：我們可能確實還在酸，但這話完全沒毛病。蝴蝶效應懂不懂啊，這是科學！
[–]MavericksPeskyBandAid 1279 指標 4 天前
damn 3 kids in 3 years holy fuck
臥槽三年仨娃，搞什麼。
[–]VicVinegar-Bodyguard 921 指標 4 天前
/#noneofthemwereplanned
That was the real wtf.
（他妻子在Ins中提到）#沒有一個（孩子）是計劃之中的
這才是真正讓我膛目結舌的地方。
[–][TOR] DeMar DeRozanDeRusselDeWestbrook 651 指標 4 天前
Hayward is Dwight but mono*河蟹*us
海沃德不過是感情專一的魔獸罷了。
[–]KnicksDirtyLukeAndTheBoys 157 指標 4 天前
Pull out game weak as fuck
海沃德這拔出來的功夫也太菜得摳腳了。
[–]norse95 200 指標 4 天前
Smh Gobert really can't block everything I guess
哎，看來戈貝爾也不是什麼都能防住啊。
[–]Wizardseatapenny 128 指標 4 天前
Which explains 3 kids so quickly.
I don't think I could raise 3 kids that young at once.
原來都沒有備孕計劃，所以這麼快就生仨孩子也說得通了。
我覺得我在那樣年輕的年紀可養不起三個孩子。
[–]Mavericks90sDanceMix 307 指標 4 天前
"we just fuck and see what happens"
I mean when you make as much money as an NBA player I guess that's alright
“我們就是隨便乾乾，看看會發生啥。”
我覺得吧，要是你能掙到NBA球員那麼多錢的話，其實也沒什麼關係型。
[–]Galaxy-Hitchhiker 360 指標 4 天前
Never have more than one kid in diapers at once
謹記一條人生法則：永遠不要一口氣養超過一個穿尿布大的孩子。
[–][MIL] Sterling Brownbut_then_i_got_highh 315 指標 4 天前
while that's a much more stress-free tactic, it'll probably be cool for the girls to all grow up together at the same time.
樓上說的確實是給父母減壓的好策略。不過閨女們一起長大的畫面也挺棒的。
[–]Lakersfields 489 指標 4 天前
Sure and some epic fights once they're all teens
是是是，當她們進入青春期後，你就等著看她們撕得不可開交吧。
[–][MIL] Sterling Brownbut_then_i_got_highh 179 指標 4 天前
yeah but those sibling fights are inevitable no matter the age haha. with the exception of there being a huuge age gap
是啊，但兄弟姐妹間的打打鬧鬧是不可避免的嘛，這無關年齡，哈哈哈！除非孩子們之間的年齡差很大。
[–]Warriorsjohnnygrant 127 指標 4 天前
huge age gap tends to mean they are more one-sided which I think is easier to mediate and handle.
The level playing field ones are the toughest.
年齡差距大的話就會一邊倒了，這樣反而容易調解和勸架。
勢均力敵是最難處理的。
[–]76erssentNoods 3984 指標 4 天前
"Daddy's always happy"
I've laid down the same lie Gordon, I get it.
“爸爸一直都高興……”。
我也撒過一樣的謊，海沃德，我懂你。
[–][GSW] Purvis ShortDishavingfun 1497 指標 4 天前
That’s why daddy loves his night time drink that’s only for adults.
這就是爸爸喜歡夜間獨自一人飲酒醉的原因。專屬的成人時光。
[–][PHI] Allen IversonMagicZombieCarpenter 925 指標 4 天前*
My girls call it daddy juice.
This is not a joke and I mean nothing perverted by this comment just to be completely clear.
我閨女把這稱作“爸爸汁”。
這不是開玩笑，而且我也沒暗示什麼猥瑣的事情，我覺得得說清楚一下。
Edit: I know people below are saying I shouldn’t have even brought it up but we know on Reddit if you don’t fully explain yourself things get misinterpreted and I wasn’t going to take that chance where my kids are concerned.
編輯：我知道樓下會說我不該提起這個，但你們也都知道在話題區裡如果不說清楚就會被人曲解意思，而且這涉及我的孩子，我是不會冒險讓大家誤會我的。
[–][DAL] Yi Jianlianjackmakesblackjacks 1523 指標 4 天前
Some things are better left unsaid
有些事還是不說為好啊兄弟……
[–]Mavericksryanbillya 295 指標 4 天前
One of the more appropriate times I've seen that said.
支持樓上。“沉默是金”用在這裡可以說是很恰當了。
[–][PHI] Allen IversonMagicZombieCarpenter 225 指標 4 天前
Maybe but my girls do it and it’s not perverted and I think the males amongst us who aren’t 100% pervs, admittedly a small group, and who are fathers will somewhat get a kick out of it.
I just honestly wrote the comment out and then was like, fuck to have to clearify that...
也許吧。但我閨女真的會這麼說，而且一點也沒有猥瑣的意思。而且我覺得這裡的男性也不都那麼思想猥瑣吧……雖然說不猥瑣的JR是小部分，但是我還以為咱這裡當爹的JR聽了我的那個故事後能開懷大笑一下呢。
說實話我寫那條評論後就感覺不對勁，必須得解釋一下。
Apple juice, orange juice, daddy juice. Pretty clearly something a kid would come up with.
蘋果汁、橙汁、爸爸汁……這是孩子們自然而然能想到的事情。
[–]BlackHandSerb 230 指標 4 天前
You’re on a forum where 90% of the people engaged in conversations are still teenagers (and some mentally)
這破區90%都是青少年（還有一些心智像青少年的成年人）。
[–]thrownons291 1349 指標 4 天前
"Mission failed we'll get em next time"
“任務失敗，下次再逮他們。”[譯註2]
[譯註2]：出自《使命召喚：現代戰爭3》。
[–][LAL] Kobe BryantTOP_5_DOA 1354 指標 4 天前
Lmaooo his reaction is cracking me up. I feel his pain man. 4th times the charm hopefully
湖人球迷：哈哈哈哈哈哈海沃德的反應真是笑死我了。我懂你的心酸。希望事不過三吧……
[–]Wolves Bandwagongrpocz 116 指標 4 天前
Curry did it, Kobe and Gordon T.T
庫裡成功了，科比和海沃德含淚點滅。
[–]76ersfybertas 67 指標 4 天前
Kobe going for no.4 as well
科比也要嘗試第四次了。
[–][LAL] Nick YoungTheChipiboy 151 指標 4 天前
Dont worry Kobe always shows up in the 4th
湖人球迷：別擔心，科比總是會在第四節站出來。
[–][PHI] Allen IversonMagicZombieCarpenter 333 指標 4 天前
Not for my grandpa
對我姥爺無效。
[–][LAL] Kobe BryantTOP_5_DOA 155 指標 4 天前
Damm did he go for 5? Lol
湖人球迷：臥槽難道他嘗試了五次嗎？？哈哈。
[–][PHI] Allen IversonMagicZombieCarpenter 330 指標 4 天前
Well his and my grandma’s first child was a son but died at 2 months old on Valentine’s Day. The next four kids lived but where all girls.
我姥爺和姥姥生下的第一個孩子是個男孩，但兩個月大時就在情人節那天夭折了。那之後的四個孩子都活了下來，都是女孩。
He was a great grandpa to me and was basically my dad when my Mom and Dad got divorced. Taught me everything I know about sports. Was a WWII veteran and retired from the Navy AND a railroad job after he left the service.
That man deserved a son if anyone ever did
他對我而言是一個偉大的姥爺，而且在我父母離婚後基本扮演了我父親的角色。教給我所有體育知識。他是一名二戰老兵，從海軍退伍後去從事了鐵路工作。
這個男人值得擁有一個兒子啊！
[–]Lakersdr3wd3zi 215 指標 4 天前
Sounds to me like the son he deserved was you!
Edit: I totally implied that you are of the male variety. Apologies if you aren’t!
聽起來他值得擁有的那個兒子就是你啊！
編輯：我下意識地認為你是男性，如果不是的話我向你道歉！
[–]WasteOffer 2314 指標 4 天前*
Gordon Hayward: 3 time confirmed sex haver
戈登-海沃德：官方認證三次*河蟹*經歷擁有者。
[–]klawhileonard 694 指標 4 天前
This man fucksthreetimes
這兄弟做了整整三次呢！
[–]Warriorstoothbud 432 指標 4 天前
[OC] Is Gordon's dick a dynasty?
[OC]：戈登-海沃德的老二已建立一個王朝？
[–]RocketsRiskRegsiter 175 指標 4 天前
Tbh his wife looking fly for having kids at that high rate too
說實話他老婆在如此高的生娃頻率下看起來氣色還不錯。
[–]fabosexy 172 指標 4 天前
She's like 24 years old lol
哈哈她貌似只有24歲。
[–]ThunderStrange1130 150 指標 4 天前
damn I did not believe that, so I looked it up -- she is 23 just turned 23 a few months ago. Imagine having 3 babies by then, damn.
She graduated HS in 2013 and now I feel like an old fuck. Stay off my lawn.
哇我之前還真不敢相信，所以我查了一下，她幾個月前剛滿23歲。在23歲的時候已經有三個孩子了……你們體會一下。
她2013年才高中畢業，我感覺我相比之下跟個老頭子一樣。讓我靜靜。
Also I mean it is clearly working for them and whatever so who am I to judge but when I go out with girls that young I can't help but think how immature they are and that I could never seriously date them haha
而且我也知道他倆日子過得很好，我也沒資格評判什麼。但當我和那麼年輕的姑娘出去玩耍，我忍不住會覺得她們還很懵懂無知，我就不會忍心去和她們約會了。
[–][OKC] Russell WestbrookB4IFURU-18 1430 指標 4 天前
That seemed kind of depressing. What the fuck
海沃德這表情衰的很啊。我了個艹。
[–][OKC] Robert SwiftCheapsBreh 1070 指標 4 天前
It is. He has to make the decision now. Another kid..... Or no more and I never get a boy.
是啊，海沃德需要做出抉擇了。是再生一個呢……還是再也不生了，但這樣永遠也不會有兒子了。
[–]Jazznotdoctorjerome 341 指標 4 天前
My grandpa tried that. He never got that son, but ended up with 7 daughters.
我姥爺就這麼嘗試過了，他最終生了7個閨女，也沒生出一個兒子。
[–]ThunderTOMAHAWK_____CHOP 199 指標 4 天前
Dear god. That poor poor man.
我的蒼天。太可憐太可憐了。
[–][LAL] Kobe BryantTOP_5_DOA 560 指標 4 天前
Gotta keep going until you get a boy
得繼續生下去直到生出兒子啊！
[–]ClippersEddy209Part2 631 指標 4 天前
It is 2034. Gordon Hayward is the new star of 18 kids and counting.
2034年，戈登-海沃德是18個孩子的明星父親，而傳奇仍在繼續。
[–][GSW] JaVale McGeeashwinr136 446 指標 4 天前
He never really did leave Utah
他從沒真正離開猶他。[譯註3]
[譯註3]猶他大部分人都是摩門教徒，家庭龐大孩子眾多，且很封建教條。
[–]Celticsianandris 154 指標 4 天前
You can take Hayward out of Utah, but you can never take the Utah out of Hayward.
凱爾特人球迷：你可以從猶他帶走海沃德，但無法帶走海沃德身體中的猶他血脈。
[–][CHI] Lauri MarkkanenInMyG4OverTheSea 304 指標 4 天前
I don't know but it seemed like he already knew and the reveal was for the kids and social media. That sounded like the classic "dad faking surprise for children" voice
我不太清楚，但看起來海沃德已經知道孩子的性別了，只是在向孩子們和社交媒體做做樣子。他的聲音聽起來就像經典的“爸爸為了孩子假裝很驚喜”的聲音。
[–]RaptorsDenzelOntario 246 指標 4 天前
I don’t the wife would say “is Daddy happy?” if that were the case. I think he was genuinely underwhelmed.
如果是這樣的話，那我不覺得她媳婦還會問一句“爸爸開心嗎？”
我覺得他是真的有些失望。
[–]themanyfaceasian 165 指標 4 天前
I for real thought he put his baby in that box... under those balloons. whew
我點開視頻之前，還真覺得海沃德把他的新生兒放到了那個箱子裡，放在氣球下面……
[–]BucksFrogman417 372 指標 4 天前
I mean, he is disappointed in not getting a son, but I still think he's excited, some people just don't get as visually excited as others do. And just looking at Hayward's posts, he seems kinda chill like this a lot.
我覺得吧，他失望寶寶不是個男孩，但他應該還是很興奮的。有些人的興奮就是不會像其他人那樣肉眼可見。你可以看看海沃德以前發的Ins，他經常這樣面無表情的瀟灑。
[–]CelticsTheGameDoneChanged 129 指標 4 天前
Yeah if you follow him or her on Instagram, this seems to be how he reacts to pretty much everything...
凱爾特人球迷：是的，如果你關注了他和他老婆的Instagram，就會發現這就是他對於所有事情的一般反應。
[–]CelticsSanchoLoamsdown 207 指標 4 天前
The only time he is really animated is when they need to do bath time so he can play video games.
凱爾特人球迷：海沃德唯一一次看起來很開心是那次孩子們要洗澡澡，這樣他就有時間玩電子遊戲了。
[–]Warriorskillingit12 157 指標 4 天前
He probably thinks that these gender reveal things are fucking dumb like every other male, but is having to go along with it anyway. I feel you, Gordon.
海沃德多半是像其他所有男性一樣，認為這種揭露性別的儀式巨特麼愚蠢，但還是得默默忍受著，我可太懂你了兄弟。
閱讀更多 ridiculous 的文章
