破碎的愛情到底是什麼樣子的呢？
- 遺物名稱：Espresso machine（咖啡機）
Too long, lasted for 20 years in the past century
Paris, France
“For a long time he loved the coffee I made for him using the espresso machine he gave me. For a long time he loved me. And then, one day, he no longer loved the coffee I made for him using the espresso machine he gave me. And then, one day, he no longer loved me and left. And so I took the espresso machine he gave me that made the coffee he loved and I put it in the basement so I don’t have to look at it anymore... But every time I come down to the basement, there it is.”
很長一段時間以來，他愛喝我用這個咖啡機給他做的咖啡。
很長一段時間以來，他愛我。
然後，有一天，他不愛我用這個咖啡機給他做的咖啡了。
然後，有一天，他不愛我了。
於是他走了。
我把他送給我的這個咖啡機扔到了地下室，免得我再看見它——可是每次當我走到地下室，它都在那裡，時刻提醒我他從沒走遠。
- 遺物名稱：An Exe Axe（一把斧子）
Berlin, Germany
“She was the first woman that I let move in with me. All my friends thought I needed to learn to let people in more. A few months after she moved in, I was offered to travel to the US. She could not come along. At the airport we said goodbye in tears, and she was assuring me she could not survive three weeks without me. I returned after three weeks, and she said: 'I fell in love with someone else. I have known her for just 4 days, but I know that she can give me everything that you cannot.' I was banal and asked about her plans regarding our life together. The next day she still had no answer, so I kicked her out. She immediately went on holiday with her new girlfriend while her furniture stayed with me.
Not knowing what to do with my anger, I finally bought this axe at Karstadt to blow off steam and to give her at least a small feeling of loss – which she obviously did not have after our break-up. In the 14 days of her holiday, every day I axed one piece of her furniture. I kept the remains there, as an expression of my inner condition. The more her room filled with chopped furniture acquiring the look of my soul, the better I felt. Two weeks after she left, she came back for the furniture. It was neatly arranged into small heaps and fragments of wood. She took that trash and left my apartment for good. The axe was promoted to a therapy instrument.”
她是我第一個同居的女友。在她搬進來的幾個月後，我去美國旅遊，她沒有和我一起去。在機場，我們含淚道別，她的舉動讓我以為在接下來的三週沒有我她簡直不能活——然而，三週後，當我從美國回來，她和我說：“我愛上別人了。雖然我只認識她四天，但是我相信她能給我你給不了我的。”
一開始，我還是企圖挽回。不過，當我發現她去意已決，我決定把她踢出去。她很過分，當她的傢俱還在我家裡的時候，就和她的新女友出去旅行了。暴怒無助的我，買了這把斧子，把她的傢俱劈個粉碎——至少，她也該嚐嚐失去的滋味。
- 遺物名稱：Number 2（備胎）
Summer 2007
Manila, Philippines
“He had another woman. He couldn’t make me his number 1; I couldn’t stand being his number 2.”
他揹著我有另一個女朋友。我不能成為他的唯一，我也不能忍受不能成為唯一。
- 遺物名稱： A plush Snoopy（一個玩偶）
30 years
Leiden, Netherlands
“He gave Snoopy to me on my 17th birthday. We had fallen in love six months earlier, on October 5, 1981. Thirty years down the line, we had three sons, a house etc. He fell in love with another woman and he chose her... He broke my heart, telling me that he hadn’t really loved me in those 30 years. I just don’t understand.”
我17歲生日那天，他送了我一個玩偶。實際上，我們早在6個月之前，也就是1981年的10月5日，陷入了熱戀。之後的30年，我們有了3個兒子和一棟房子…然而，他愛上了另一個女人並選擇了她…他讓我心碎了，他甚至告訴我在過去的30年中他並沒有真正地愛過我。我真的不明白，既然如此，一開始他為什麼要說愛我？
- 遺物名稱：A magnifying glass（放大鏡）
Manilla, Philippines
"She gave it to me as a remembrance before I left. I never did get why she gave a magnifying glass nor did she ever explain what it meant. But she always said she felt 'small' whenever she was around me."
我們分手前，她把這個放大鏡送給我當做紀念物。我不知道她為什麼這麼做，但是她確實總對我說：“只要在你身邊，我就覺得自己很渺小，你的眼睛裡沒有我。”
一切都在那裡，被這些貌似普通、微不足道的物品所包裹：痛苦、憤怒、掙扎、心碎、後悔，以及失去愛情的無力。當一段感情不得善終，這些物品便呈現出更重要的意義——它們象徵著我們無力完美處理生活的一角。分手成為一條斷層線，一條割裂回憶和舊日幸福的裂縫。人們凝視這些裂痕，深思愛情為何會走入歧途，如何處理“broken relationship”。
也許我們都對愛情抱有不切實際的幻想，寄予它永不可能實現的價值。把戀人理想化，希望他們既能接納我們，又能滿足我們；既能限制我們，又能給我們以自由。而對於戀愛關係中的固有矛盾，英國作家E.M.Foster則這樣描述：“…當人們愛的時候，他們總是試圖獲得某些東西，同時也想付出某些東西；這種雙重目的使得愛情比吃飯和睡覺更為複雜。它自私，同時它也無私。”
Every raw emotion seems to be on display – pain, anger, emptiness and enormity of losing love. When a relationship ends, it's a reminder that things don't always go as planned, that it not always ends with "and they lived happily ever after." The breakup becomes a crack, where we separate our memory and love.
Deep down, perhaps we all have this unrealistic, almost foolish, expectation that our significant other will accept every speck of us – the good, the bad and the ugly – and accommodate every rational and irrational need.
British writer E.M. Forster says, “…when human beings love they try to get something. They also try to give something, and this double aim makes love more complicated than food or sleep. It is selfish and altruistic at the same time.”
傾注的感情無結果，曾經的歡喜化為泡影，內心情緒發生波動，十分正常。可分手之後，一味地強調自己走不出來，不論是有意無意，說到底都是自己不想走出來。
要如何安放破碎的愛情呢？
Block them on social media, such as WeChat and Weibo, and your address list.
在你的社交網站上拉黑他們
Create an environment where you won't think about your ex.
建立一個沒有前任的環境，以免觸景生情
Avoid memorizing the details between you on social media.
不要在網絡上回憶你們相處的點滴
It is OK to talk about the breakup, just remember to also be productive.
學習如何有效地談論分手
Exercise heals everything.
運動是萬能的
Stop blaming yourself.
停止責備自己
Don’t rush to date someone else.
緩慢度過空窗期
Crying does not mean you’re a coward; do it when you think you need to!
想哭的時候就哭吧！
當你把過往都收拾妥帖，希望這篇文章能夠給你小小的幫助，讓你曾經或正在破碎的心能夠重新組合起來。它也許不再是以前的模樣，但一定是你喜歡的形狀。正如莫言在《蛙》中說：“所謂愛情，其實就是一場大病，我的病就要好了。”
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