說起自家寵物，
一般人總是一臉寵溺，
稱它們是粘人的寶貝，天使。
然而呢，有那麼一批天使，
還真不那麼……天使。
下面就是外國網友發起的—
大型壞貓行為揭露會，
看完感覺，確實不太好惹啊……
【網友】My dad taught Charlie how to turn on and off the lights. If you zoom in, you can see light switch in his mouth. He now waits until I'm in the shower, then turns of all the lights.
我爸教會了查理如何開關燈。如果你把圖片放大，會發現他正把開關含在嘴裡。他現在正等著我去洗澡，然後再把所有的燈都關掉。
【網友】This is Dylan. She is my boyfriend's "1st girlfriend" because she only allows him to touch her. This is her after she took over my side of the bed. She also steals my spot on the couch/chairs if I get up to get water etc,
這是迪倫，也是我男朋友的“第一任女友”，因為她只允許他碰。這是迪倫佔據了我床一側之後的樣子。另外如果我坐在沙發或者椅子上，起身去比如接個水，她也會趁機偷走我的位置。
【網友】When she was just a kitten, the vet brought her out in a carrying case wrapped in "warning: dangerous animal" tape. My arm is covered in scars from her attacks.
Her name is Bea Arthur. We love her.
她還是隻小貓的時候，獸醫曾用一個手提箱把她送出來，箱子上裹著一圈膠帶，上面寫著“警告：危險動物”。我的手臂上現在全是她攻擊留下的傷痕。
她叫Bea Arthur。我們都愛她。
【網友】The most experienced vet at our practice took Rory and her cone of shame separately into a room and emerged about 40 min later, Rory smugly still unconed. "Just...try to keep her from picking at the wound."
我們獸醫所最有經驗的獸醫抱走了Rory和她的羞恥圈（編注：形狀像反過來的燈罩，在小動物術後或患病期間用，防止它們舔舐傷口），單獨進入一個房間。40分鐘後他們出現了，Rory洋洋得意地依然沒有被套脖圈。“那個……只要設法讓她別舔傷口就行”。
【網友】獸醫的建議：
貓速度比你更快，牙齒和指甲比你更尖。它沒有“行為準則”，也不會為自己的將來考慮。
如果公平戰鬥，它贏定了。所以：
1. 不要和貓打架
2. 用你的大腦思考
3. （當給貓治病時，）用（催眠）藥
【網友】This is Jack. He is very handsome. He is 20lbs. He has to be drugged pre-vet, and taken to a back room where he can only be handled by poeple in leather gloves.
這是Jack. 他很帥氣，體重20磅（約9公斤）。他看獸醫之前需要提前打麻藥，看完後會被帶到後面的一個房間。在那裡，只有帶著皮手套的人才能弄得了它。
【網友】My cat used to get on onp of the door, pretend to be stuck, and then ruthlessly attack anyone foolish enought to try to rescue her. Afterwards she'd hop ooff the door like i was no big
我的貓習慣爬到門頂上，裝作自己被卡住了，然後無情地襲擊任何傻到試圖去救她的人。之後她會自己從門上跳下來，就好像這件事沒啥大不了的。
【網友】Misu (short for Tiramisu) has a habit that when her dad or I have ice cream, she will climb on us (shoulders, arms, laps, etc) & lick at the spoon/bowl/carton until we give her some. Vanilla Haagen Dazs is her favorite.
米蘇（提拉米蘇的簡稱）有個習慣是她爸和我吃冰激凌的時候，她會爬到我們身上（肩膀上，手臂上，大腿上，等等地方），不斷去舔勺子、碗，或者盒子包裝，直到我們給她一點吃。香草味的哈根達斯是她的最愛。
【網友】My cat has a note in all caps red letters on his vet file that he can't be handled without a muzzle ┓( ´∀` )┏
我的貓的獸醫檔案裡有一張紙條，上面用紅色全大寫字母寫著：須先帶口鼻套再處理。
【網友】This is Smokey. She isn't allowed outside because she will terrorize the neighbohood cats. My grandkids won't walk by her cus she hisses. My pit bull will not walk by her and will let her eat his food while he sits by watching. She looks nice.
這是Smokey。我們不許她出門，因為她會霸凌周圍鄰居的貓。我的孫子孫女們不敢從她旁邊走過，因為她會衝他們嘶嘶叫。我的鬥牛犬不僅不敢從她旁邊走過，還會任她吃完自己的食物，只敢在一旁看著。她看起來很友好。
【網友】我有一隻貓，Tugger，對獸醫太兇殘了，所以術後檢查只包括往貓箱裡瞥一眼，確保貓還活著。這就夠了，不要錢。
【網友】This is my lady Lunar. Picked her up 3 years ago. Loves my mother to death, hates me with the passion of 1000 burning suns occasionally. I will continue to love her and shall bear the scars of my love for years to come.
這是我的貓小姐Lunar，3年前把她撿回家的。她愛死我媽了，而對我熾熱的恨意，有時會像1000個燃燒著的小太陽。我會一直愛她，並在未來的年頭裡忍受各種愛的傷疤。
其實，很多貓狗的“不良行為”，
都和幼時的經歷有關。
如果有機會做一些訓練，
是可以得到糾正的，
給它們足夠的照顧和陪伴，是第一步。
