[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Mr. Tribbiani is on the phone.]
Mr. Tribbiani: Gotta go. I miss you too, I love you, but it's getting real late now我得掛電話了，我也想你 我愛你，但現在很晚了
Joey: (Snatches the phone) Hey Ma. Listen, I made the appointment with Dr. Bazida, and... Excuse me? (To his dad) Did you know this isn't Ma? 媽，我和包西達大夫約了時間 什麼? 你知道這不是媽嗎?
(His dad nods. Cut to later. Joey is chopping mushrooms)
Mr. Tribbiani: Her name's Ronni. She's a pet mortician. 她叫羅妮，寵物殯葬業者
Joey: Sure. So how long you been... (Goes back to chopping) 你和她多久了…
Mr. Tribbiani: Remember when you were a little kid, I used to take you to the navy yard and show you the big ships? 記得小時候我常帶你去海軍軍港看大船?
Joey: Since then?! 從那時候?
Mr. Tribbiani: No, it's only been six years. I just wanted to put a nice memory in your head so you'd know that I wasn't always such a terrible guy. ...Joe. Y'ever been in love? 不，才6年
我只想勾起你美好的回憶 讓你不會覺得我一直是個大爛人 喬伊，你愛過嗎?
Joey: ...I d'know. 我不知道
Mr. Tribbiani: Then y'haven't. You're burning your tomatoes. 那就是沒有 你的蕃茄燒焦了
Joey: You're one to talk. (Puts the mushrooms in a saucepan) 別想轉移話題
Mr. Tribbiani: Joe, your dad's in love big time. And the worst part of it is, it's with two different women. 喬，你老爸愛得無法自拔 最糟的是我愛兩個女人
Joey: Oh man. Please tell me one of 'em is Ma. 拜託你告訴我其中一個是媽
Mr. Tribbiani: Of course, course one of 'em's Ma. What's the matter with you. 當然其中一個是你媽 你是怎麼搞的?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is lamenting to everyone about hid dad's affair.]
Joey: It's like if you woke up one day and found out your dad was leading this double life. He's like actually some spy, working for the C.I.A. (Considers) That'd be cool.... This blows! 這就像你某天起床突然發現你爸是個雙面人 就像是為中情局工作的間諜 那一定很酷 但這個很爛
Rachel: I know, I mean, why can't parents just stay parents? (She walks over near Chandler and his gaze stays very obviously on her chest) Why do they have to become people? Why do they have... (Notices Chandler) Why can't you stop staring at my breasts? 我懂 為何父母就不能是父母? 為何他們就得成為人間男女? 別再盯著我的胸部看
Chandler: (Without looking up) What? (Looks up) What?
Rachel: Did you not get a good enough look the other day? 那一天你還看得不夠嗎?
Ross: Alright, alright. We're all adults here, there's only one way to resolve this. Since you saw her boobies, I think, uh, you're gonna have to show her your peepee. 我們都已是成年人 此事只有一個解決之道 既然你看過她的胸脯 你應該讓她看你的小弟弟
Chandler: Y'know, I don't see that happening? 辦不到
Rachel: C'mon, he's right. Tit for tat. 拜託，他說得對以眼還眼
Chandler: Well I'm not showing you my 'tat.'我不會讓你看的
(Door buzzer goes)
Monica: Hello?
Phoebe: (Intercom) It's Phoebe.
Roger: (Intercom) And Rog.
Monica: C'mon up. 快上來
Chandler: (Sarcastic) Oh, good. Rog is here. 這下可好，羅傑來了
Joey: What's the matter with Rog? 羅傑有什麼不對勁嗎?
Ross: Yeah.
Chandler: Oh, it's nothing, it's a little thing... I hate that guy. 沒什麼，小事 我討厭這傢伙
Ross: What, so he was a little analytical. That's what he does, y'know? C'mon, he's not that bad. 他就是這種人 別這樣嘛，他沒那麼糟
(Cut to Chandler, Ross and Roger sitting at the table. Ross is upset)
Ross: Y'see, that's where you're wrong. Why would I marry her if I thought on any level thatthat she was a lesbian? 這就是你錯誤的地方 如果當初我感覺到她是女同志 我何必和她結婚呢?
Roger: I dunno. Maybe you wanted your marriage to fail. 我不知道 或許你想讓婚姻失敗
Ross: Why? Why would I why? Why? Why? Why?
Roger: I don't know. Maybe maybe low self-esteem, maybe maybe to compensate for overshadowing a sibling, maybe you... 我不知道，或許自信心不足 或許是彌補你讓你妹相形見絀的愧疚 或許…
Monica: Wait-wait, go back to that sibling（兄; 弟; 姐; 妹）thing. 等等，回到妹妹的話題
Roger: Well, I don't know. I mean, it's conceivable that you wanted to sabotage your marriage so that the sibling would feel less of a failure in the eyes of the parents. 什麼?我不知道 你要使你的婚姻觸礁 讓你妹在父母面前不那麼抬不起頭
Ross: That that's ridiculous! I don't feel guilty for her failures! 這太荒謬了 她不爭氣我並未感到自責
Monica: Oh! So you think I'm a failure! 你認為我不爭氣?
Phoebe: Isn't he good?
Ross: Nonono, thatthat's not what I was saying... 他不錯吧我不是那個意思?
Monica: Y'know, all these years, I thought you were on my side. But maybe what you were doing was sucking up to Mom and Dad so they'd keep liking you better! 多年來我以為你支持我 但或許你婚姻失敗目的是想巴結爸媽 讓他們更心疼你
Ross: Hey, I married a lesbian to make you look good! 我娶女同志是想讓你建立自信
(Cut to later. Rachel is in tears)
Rachel: You're right! I mean you're right! It wasn't just the Weebles, but it was the Weeble Play Palace, and and the Weebles' Cruise Ship. Oh, which had this little lifeboat for the Weebles to wobble in. 你說得對 那不是“威伯”的問題 而是威伯遊樂宮和遊輪的問題 它上面的救生艇讓威伯能緩緩駛出
Roger: That's tough. Tough stuff. C'mon, Pheebs, we're gonna catch that movie, we gotta get going. 那滋味不好受 菲比，如果想看電影我們現在該走了
Phoebe: Oh, okay. Feel better, Rachel, 'kay? 打起精神來，瑞秋
Roger: Geez, we're gonna be late, sweetie... 菲比，我們快來不及了
Phoebe: Oh, okay. Listen, thanks for everything, Mon. 謝謝
Monica: You're welcome.
Roger: Listen guys, it was great seeing you again. Mon, um, easy on those cookies, okay? Remember, they're just food, they're not love. 各位，很高興和各位再度見面 摩妮卡，餅乾別吃太多 切記，那只是食物 不是愛
(He shuts the door and Ross and Monica fling cookies at it)
Monica: Hate that guy! (Throws another cookie) 我討厭這傢伙
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