首先再次回顧一下寫作4分滿分的評分準則描述：
可以清晰的看到，寫作維度是從宏觀結構過渡及微觀詞句風格語調呈現對考生回答進行評估的。那1908NA的這份高分回答是如何取得各項的優秀表現的呢？
宏觀段落結構progression throughout the essay上：考試在開頭段最後一句話對全文分析手法進行了一次預告（同時也是全文主題central claim），並且在後文中參考首段的預告手法（如下圖），使用段落銜接詞逐一對三個手法進行了分析，讓考官非常清晰順暢地瞭解該考生在結構上的寫作規劃能力，這與一些同學，邊寫邊分析，洋洋灑灑涵蓋不清的分析結構形成鮮明的對比，清晰一致的段落規劃也是這篇回答為什麼能夠順利獲得滿分的原因之一。
開頭段最後一句話：
後文三個主體段考生分別使用了：
- Godfrey Harris utilizes his personal experience at the starting part of the passage. …
- In addition, Godfrey Harris also [utilizes] irony multiply times in the passage to show…
- Last but not least, Harris uses concession and rebuttal on the issue of killing of the the elephant …
而在結尾段考生也再次重申了分析的手法，同時有意識地使用了詞彙替換進行表達：
In conclusion, Harris, or the advisory board of International Ivory Society, successfully utilized his own personal story, irony of the real intention under the surface of regulation on ivory trade, and concession and rebuttal to prove his opinion that the limitation on ivory trade and collecting can do more harm than benefits. His opinion is further valid and reasonable, even if many don’t agree.
除了全文保持一致的篇章結構，考生在段內結構上也有不錯的發展銜接意識。
如以下的第一個body分析段，可以看到考生使用了自然的方式進行了細節間及分析解讀之間的過渡（詳見黃色高亮標記）：
Godfrey Harris utilized his personal experience, at the starting point of the passage. He explains his family historyin general, and has given details of when and how he starts to collect ivory items, Godfrey Harris’s family came to the state because they were attempting to escape Britain before the situation become worse, and when their situation is more settled, Godfrey’s father decided to bring Godfrey back to Britain for a trip and brought back some ivory items. This part of his personal experiences indicated that to him, ivory is an important part of his life, and the audience will develop emotion on this subject matter after they read about the author’s experience. With the warmth added to the passage, readers have connection to the author and will consider his opinion better. Harris also said that “Ivory pieces, like other artistic expressions, reflect the time and culture that produced them.” Before this, he explained that it is because of his job as a diplomat that allows him to obtain more ivory items. With this additional experience, the audience will understand why these items have their own values. Harris gives the audience the impression that ivory items are timeless beauty, therefore the audience will start to realize the importance of ivory pieces and why they should be valued than be viewed as something harmful regarding to the elephant killing issues discussed later in the paragraph. By employingpersonal experience, Harris connect his audience on the level of emotion and therefore successfully sent his message about the fact that ivory items should not be restricted by heavy regulations to the readers. (269 words)
可以注意到考生沒有使用生硬的first, second進行過渡，而是在進行自然流暢的細節描述過程中，從概括到具體，利用指代詞(e.g. this) 副詞 (e.g. also), 介詞結構( with …) 及從句連接(after…; before…).
同時從以上一段的示例中，可以看到考試使用了多樣的句式及精準的詞彙替換進行寫作表達，如對anecdote的替換，考生結合文章內容使用了具體的詞彙及相關義詞彙進行替換（詳見綠色標記）。
對讀者影響方面的表達，詞彙和句式方面都展示了嫻熟的表達能力（詳見紫色標記）。
這裡可以看出，高分回答要求的並不是生僻詞句運用，而是在有效表達同時的詞句資源展示，回到評分標準，即“多樣句式，精準措辭”。
最後，全文也保持了客觀正式的寫作風格，雖然有一些單複數及構詞方面的語法錯誤，但總體語法失誤不影響理解，能夠高質量地呈現出一篇高分回答。
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